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Spend time on physical activities

Spend time on physical activities eep8J
some people think it is better for their children to lessen studying time and increase the physical activity es time. In my point of view, I agree that boys and girls should learn different skills not narrow it on the school subjects. vigour No doubt that theoretical studies and subjects at school can be helpful in increasing the mental knowledge for children but as much as this important to follow up with the science development they should train their bodies by various activities. For example, participating in sports competitions and improve their fitness or enter groups give lessons in first aid. These activities can raise their confidence about the real-life matter that makes them link it to what they studying at school. Moreover, by knowing different skills and crafts they can gain experiences which make them get a good picture on about what are they masterful at. Besides, they would not make the wrong decisions if it comes to choose a major to pursue after finishing high school. In addition, spend time to learn physical activities assist in learning the commitment and the responsibility about what they have or their family and their friends. To sum up that, I believe that physical activities are helpful to children and make them be more creative at their school if they manage time between that and their study.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is better for their children to lessen studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and increase the physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
Possible spelling mistake found.
es
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. In my point of view, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that boys and girls should learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
not narrow it on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
subjects.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
vigour


No doubt that theoretical studies and subjects at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
can be helpful in increasing the mental knowledge for children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
as much as this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to follow up with the science development they should train their bodies by various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
.
For example
, participating in sports competitions and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their fitness or enter groups give lessons in
first
aid. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
can raise their confidence about the real-life matter that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
them link it to what
Did you mean "they're studying", "they are studying", or "they were studying"?
they studying
at school.

Moreover
, by knowing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and crafts they can gain experiences which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
picture on about what are they masterful at.
Besides
, they would not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
decisions if it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to choose a major to pursue after finishing high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
In addition
, spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to learn physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
assist in learning the commitment and the responsibility about what they have or their family and their friends.

To sum up that, I believe that physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
are helpful to children and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
them be more creative at their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
if they manage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
between that and their study.

IELTS essay Spend time on physical activities

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
225 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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