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increasing usage of computer games and its impact on the children. discuss the advantages and disadvantages

increasing usage of computer games and its impact on the children. discuss the advantages and disadvantages mWME1
Increasing usage of computer games and its impact on the mental health of children is a point which needs more attention from the society. The following paragraph will discuss the advantages and dis-advantages in this regard. Computer technology has opened many new pathways for the mankind in different areas for different age groups. For children playing computer games is one of them. Playing computer games have few benefits on the mental growth of children. for example, children can develop some basic understanding of many sophisticated components of the airplane by playing a airplane simulator game on the computer. Computer games also provide the ability to test the creative mind of the children. For example: In the game of chess, there you need to use your mathematical calculations and your creative skill to win. These kind of computer games help the children to grow and enhance there intelligence. On the other hand, computer games can create a big hindrance in the study pattern of the children. addiction to computer games can severely effect the time management of the children, hence there study hours are getting compromised. Not only this, physical well-being is also challenged. for example, spending more time in front of computer screen will have a very bad effect on their eyesight. To conclude, computer games can provide a big opportunity to the children. To learn and understand the world around them, even sharpen their creative mind and polish their thinking ability. But at the same time addiction towards computer games can also create a social and mental hindrance problem for the generations to come.
Increasing usage of computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
and its impact on the mental health of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is a point which needs more attention from the society. The following paragraph will discuss the advantages and dis-advantages in this regard.

Computer technology has opened
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
new pathways for the mankind in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
areas for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
age groups. For
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
playing computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
is one of them. Playing computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
have few benefits on the mental growth of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
example,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can develop
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
basic understanding of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
sophisticated components of the airplane by playing
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
airplane simulator game on the computer. Computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
also
provide the ability to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
the creative mind of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
For example
: In the game of chess, there you need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
your mathematical calculations and your creative
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
to win.
Did you mean "this kind" or "These kinds"?
These kind
of computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to grow and enhance there intelligence.

On the other hand
, computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
can create a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
hindrance in the study pattern of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
addiction
to computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
can
severely
effect the time management of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
,
hence
there study hours are getting compromised. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
this, physical well-being is
also
challenged.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
example, spending more time in front of computer screen will have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
effect on their eyesight.

To conclude
, computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
can provide a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
opportunity to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. To learn and understand the world around them, even sharpen their creative mind and polish their thinking ability.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
at the same time addiction towards computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
can
also
create a social and mental hindrance problem for the generations to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
.
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IELTS essay increasing usage of computer games and its impact on the children. discuss the advantages and disadvantages

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
265 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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