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Spend lots of money on sports and culture events is it good or bad?

Spend lots of money on sports and culture events is it good or bad? Q2Wm3
Nowadays, most of the people like to spend their money on Sports and Celebration because some people think make Garred in the sports activity I person and believe that it is good idea spend Cash on these types of venture. Firstly, I will talk about what are the benifits to spend money in sports. Because in the world is orts popularity is growing by leaps and bounds. Most of the people attract to wards the Sports. Furthermore, sports keep fit and healthy to public For instance, Indian Sports academy spend their money in sports because Some Pool students like to choose Sports as. Garrer. India Bocca arrange Sports activity for people like Indian Premier legove. In this event. they spend a lot of hard cash because new talent get chance perfrom for India. So, these types of activities are encourcing People choose their Carrer in sports. One of the biggest events is the Olympics. In this game athletics. lot of money is using for theSecondly I will talk about meltis of the cultural events. In this function different religious people are meet together and knowing about their culture. . Also Cultural events are teaching US about OL) Own ethnic. As it is Said i knowledge is power ". So we are try to get Some knowledge about clulture because in life this factor is Play Singnificant role. Particulary taking about India. There are lot's of events arrange by the government such as onam Pongal, dussehra, bihu festival and so on. So, all these types of activity face the music of our cultural Sometimes, culture bolster us how to live in the world. To put it in a nutshell this toplic is a hot potato. So, sports and cultral events are motivating People in terms of make Profession in Phtsical activities and tha to touch with Culture
Nowadays, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like to
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spend
their
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money
on
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Sports
and Celebration
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
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Garred
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
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activity
I person and believe that it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
Cash on these types of venture.
Firstly
, I will talk about what are the
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benifits
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
in the world is
Possible spelling mistake found.
orts
popularity is growing by leaps and bounds. Most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
attract to wards the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sports
.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
fit and healthy to public
For instance
, Indian
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Sports
academy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
Pool students like to choose
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Sports
as.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Garrer
. India
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Bocca
arrange
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like Indian Premier
Possible spelling mistake found.
legove
. In this
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event
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
they
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spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
cash
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
new talent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
chance
Possible spelling mistake found.
perfrom
for India.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, these types of
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activities
are
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encourcing
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People
choose their
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Carrer
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. One of the biggest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
is the Olympics. In this game athletics.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
lot
of
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money
is using for
Possible spelling mistake found.
theSecondly
I will talk about
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meltis
of the cultural
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events
. In this function
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
religious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
together and knowing about their culture.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
Cultural
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events
are teaching US about
Possible spelling mistake found.
OL
Unpaired symbol: '(' seems to be missing
)
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Own
ethnic.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
it
is Said
i knowledge is power
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
we are
Consider using a past participle here: "tried".
try
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
knowledge about
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clulture
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
in life this factor is Play
Possible spelling mistake found.
Singnificant
role.
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Particulary
taking about India. There are
Did you mean "lots"?
lot's
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
arrange by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
onam
Possible spelling mistake found.
Pongal
,
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dussehra
,
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bihu
festival and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, all these types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
face the music of our cultural
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
, culture bolster us how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the world. To put it in a nutshell this
Possible spelling mistake found.
toplic
is a hot potato.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
cultral
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
are motivating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
in terms of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
Profession in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Phtsical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
tha
to touch with Culture
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IELTS essay Spend lots of money on sports and culture events is it good or bad?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
305 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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