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Speech: Should shops be open on Sundays?

Speech: Should shops be open on Sundays? JVlNe
Good afternoon, everyone! Imagine, you are older than now, maybe 40 years old. It is Sunday at 12 o clock. Your whole family is at home and enjoy their freetime at the weekend. But you are not at home, because you have to work. But when you are at home, your family is not, because then they are at school or have to work. You see your family only a little. (How would you feel? ) I believe that shops should be closed on Sundays. Today I am here do tell you why. One main reason is that people need to take break from their busy week. Then they can take spend time with their families and friends and strenghtening those essiential relationships. And when these famililal relationsships are stonger, the community becomes stronger. This allows the body and mind to rest and recharge, but if it does not exist these day with your family and friend, you and other person just get tired and weary. Imagine you have a fantastic shop, which could make you happy but you arent because you cant see you family and friends often. On Sundays, many believing people go to churches or other religios places. If shops are open, it would be very difficult for you and the other persons to have the same chance and privilege like other people who do not work in shops. So it is very unfair that employees are taken away religious freedom to work hard trough times that would be normally in church that are important to them. Also an argument against open shops on Sundays is the enviromental reason. There should be a least one day where is less traffic on the roads, which means less cars driving, which of course means less carbon dioxide emission, which is very good for the environment. And this day could and schould be Sunday! At the end it can be say that the perfect day to close shops is sunday, because of all reasons I said. So why there are still in other countries shops open on Sunday? Thank you for your attention!
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Good
afternoon, everyone!

Imagine, you are older than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, maybe 40 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
. It is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sunday
at 12 o clock. Your whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
is at home and enjoy their
Possible spelling mistake found.
freetime
The phrase 'at the weekend' is a British English expression, which is used the same way as "on the weekend" in American English.
at the weekend
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
you are not at home,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
when you are at home, your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
is not,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
then they are at school or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. You
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
. (How would you feel?
Loose punctuation mark.
)


I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
should
be closed
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sundays
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
I am here do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
you why.

One main reason is that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
need to take break from their busy week. Then they can take spend time with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
and friends and
Possible spelling mistake found.
strenghtening
those
Possible spelling mistake found.
essiential
relationships. And when these
Possible spelling mistake found.
famililal
Possible spelling mistake found.
relationsships
are
Possible spelling mistake found.
stonger
, the community becomes stronger. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
the body and mind to rest and recharge,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
if it does not exist
Did you mean "this day" or "these days"?
these day
with your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and friend, you and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
person
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
tired and weary. Imagine you have a fantastic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
, which could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
you happy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
you
Possible spelling mistake found
arent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
you
Did you mean "can't" or "cannot"?
cant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and friends
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
.

On
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sundays
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
believing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
go to churches or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
Possible spelling mistake found.
religios
places. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
are open, it would be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult for you and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
persons to have the same chance and privilege like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
unfair that employees
are taken
away religious freedom to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
trough times that would be
normally
in church that are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to them.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
an argument against open
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sundays
is the
Possible spelling mistake found.
enviromental
reason. There should be
Use "the" with the superlative.
a
least one
It is better to use 'day' with the time-relative pronoun 'when': "day when". (Alternatively, use 'in/on which')
day where
is less traffic on the roads, which means
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun cars is countable.
less
cars driving, which
of course
means less carbon dioxide emission, which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for the environment.

And this day could and
Possible spelling mistake found.
schould
be Sunday!

At the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
it can be say that the perfect day to close
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
is
Possible spelling mistake found.
sunday
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of all reasons I said.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
why there are
still
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
countries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
open on Sunday?

Thank you for your attention!
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IELTS essay Speech: Should shops be open on Sundays?

Essay
  American English
9 paragraphs
353 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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