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Space travel has made Sometimes and people think that Space tourism will be probably developed in future?

Space travel has made Sometimes and people think that Space tourism will be probably developed in future? 5LnjP
Compared with exploring space in the past, nowadays it is more available for mankind to travel space. In my view, although some people claim that this has some negative impacts, I am still in favour of it. Admittedly, some people concern that it is unsafe for human to travel space because when scientists go to moon which have hash environment and non-dioxide. they may suffer safe and health threatening. However, the situations mentioned above are in the minority after all nowadays when science technology is strengthening the event of researching space is raising their awareness of self-protection. So, it is not necessary to refuse to travel in space because of the low-probability situations. And this action indeed brings so many benefits for both individuals and countries as a whole. It is a good way for human to travel space. Especially going to some planets which have enrich knowledge and widen vision. Scientists tend to communicate with other planet species and research athronomy activities, learning about space knowledge. For example, scientists who are passionate about researching tend to explore in galaxy, having a deeper understanding of space through their professional knowledge. l hope that this could help human view the world from a more broad-minded perspective rather than being prejudiced. To sum up, there will be some negative influences of mankind to travel space, while the benefits brought to individuals and countries can not be ignored such as enriching human's knowledge and widening human's vision.
Compared with exploring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
in the past, nowadays it is more available for mankind to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
. In my view, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
claim that this has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts, I am
still
in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of it.

Admittedly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
concern that it is unsafe for human to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
when scientists go to moon which have hash environment and non-dioxide.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
they
may suffer safe and health threatening.

However
, the situations mentioned above are in the minority
after all
nowadays when science technology is strengthening the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
of researching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
is raising their awareness of self-protection.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it is not necessary to refuse to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the low-probability situations. And this action
indeed
brings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits for both individuals and countries as a whole. It is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way for human to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
.
Especially
going to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
planets which have
Use past participle here: "enriched".
enrich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
and widen vision. Scientists tend to communicate with other planet species and research
Possible spelling mistake found.
athronomy
activities, learning about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
.
For example
, scientists who are passionate about researching tend to explore in galaxy, having a deeper understanding of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
through their professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
l
hope that this could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
human view the world from a more broad-minded perspective
rather
than
being prejudiced
.

To sum up, there will be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
influences of mankind to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
, while the benefits brought to individuals and countries can not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
such as enriching human's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
and widening human's vision.
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IELTS essay Space travel has made Sometimes and people think that Space tourism will be probably developed in future?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
244 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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