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Space exploration is much too expensive and the money should be spent on more important things. What is your opinion? v.1

Space exploration is much too expensive and the money should be spent on more important things. What is your opinion? v. 1
It has been argued by many that projects of space exploration are expansive and the funding for these is useless, rather the government should spend money on other important fields. In my opinion, I fully agree with this as the humanity takes priority and the state should spend the budget on the problems like poverty and provision of food. On the one hand, space technology is a costly affair and consumes too much revenue. Firstly, it requires huge infrastructure like super computers, telescopes, satellites, rockets and space shuttles. Secondly, the training of staff required for this purpose requires lot of efforts. Moreover, the missions planned for the research purpose have a high probability of failure. All this, ultimately, leads to the consumption of too many resources and is a constant burden on the finances of a country. For instance, the amount spent in the UK for such studies is about the quarter of the whole income. On the other hand, the economist must give importance to the issues of low socioeconomic conditions and provision of edibles to the population instead of the emphasis on the exploration of galaxies. Many countries of the world have people who are living below the poverty line and there are families who can't feed three meals a day to their young ones. Furthermore, the situation gets more grave when the rulers instead of making policies for the betterment of mankind, spend too much on the uplift of engineering sciences related to the stars and planets. For example, the same issue has been highlighted in the general assembly meeting of the Uninated Nations in 2018. To conclude, I believe that a line should be drawn between the essential and the non-essential issues, so that the suffering of the poor and needy can be reduced.
It has
been argued
by
many
that projects of space exploration are expansive and the funding for
these is
useless,
rather
the
government
should spend money on other
important
fields. In my opinion, I
fully
agree
with this as the humanity takes priority and the state should spend the budget on the problems like poverty and provision of food.

On the one hand, space technology is a costly affair and consumes too much revenue.
Firstly
, it requires huge infrastructure like super computers, telescopes, satellites, rockets and space shuttles.
Secondly
, the training of staff required for this purpose requires lot of efforts.
Moreover
, the missions planned for the research purpose have a high probability of failure. All this,
ultimately
, leads to the consumption of too
many
resources and is a constant burden on the finances of a country.
For instance
, the amount spent in the UK for such studies is about the quarter of the whole income.

On the other hand
, the economist
must
give importance to the issues of low socioeconomic conditions and provision of edibles to the population
instead
of the emphasis on the exploration of galaxies.
Many
countries of the world have
people
who are living below the poverty line and there are families who can't feed three meals a day to their young ones.
Furthermore
, the situation
gets
more grave when the rulers
instead
of making policies for the betterment of mankind, spend too much on the uplift of engineering sciences related to the stars and planets.
For example
, the same issue has
been highlighted
in the general assembly meeting of the
Uninated
Nations in 2018.

To conclude
, I believe that a line should
be drawn
between the essential and the non-essential issues,
so
that the suffering of the poor and needy can be
reduced
.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes
The limits of my language mean the limits of my world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay Space exploration is much too expensive and the money should be spent on more important things. What is your opinion? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
298 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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