Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Songs with violent lyrics make people more violent and should be banned. Do you agree or disagree v.1

Songs with violent lyrics make people more violent and should be banned. v. 1
It is said that the music that has vicious content gives rise to aggressive behaviour that ought to be prohibited. I firmly believe that this phenomenon carries some demerit in terms of ethics and psychology. In the following paragraphs, a piece of evidence will be provided. Firstly, looked at from an ethical point of view, violent lyrics can promote immorality. Emotionally as it might help to pour out negative thoughts, in most cases, the audience is accustomed to violent content. In other words, violent lyrics would be normalized in everyday life. By way of illustration, juveniles and teenagers communities in specific will be predominated by misleading volcanic emotions, such as swearing or assaulting. Secondly, psychologically speaking, furious poems of songs can affect the subconscious minds of listeners. Although it is advisable to be highly sensitive in selecting what spiritual materials consume, never can it be denied that only the link of lyrics influences our soul regardless of their nature. For instance, the more you listen to blues music, the more you will be overwhelmed by negative feelings, this would be true of violent songs, too. A conducted survey in a criminology field has revealed a meaningful correlation between the musical taste of criminals and their brutal crimes. To sum up, I subscribe to the agreement that there is a link between violent music and aggressive behaviour. Not only can they desensitize the concept of violence, but also subconsciously, you might be affected. To live in a violent-free society, the authorities should keep systematic surveillance, including the ban of the songs with violent lyrics.
It
is said
that the music that has vicious content gives rise to aggressive
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
that ought to
be prohibited
. I
firmly
believe that this phenomenon carries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
demerit in terms of ethics and psychology. In the following paragraphs, a piece of evidence will
be provided
.

Firstly
, looked at from an ethical point of view,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violent
lyrics can promote immorality.
Emotionally
as it might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to pour out
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
thoughts,
in most cases
, the audience
is accustomed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violent
content.
In other words
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violent
lyrics would
be normalized
in everyday life. By way of illustration, juveniles and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
communities in specific will
be predominated
by misleading volcanic emotions, such as swearing or assaulting.

Secondly
,
psychologically
speaking, furious poems of songs can affect the subconscious minds of listeners. Although it is advisable to be
highly
sensitive in selecting what spiritual materials consume, never can it
be denied
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the link of lyrics influences our soul regardless of their nature.
For instance
, the more you listen to blues music, the more you will
be overwhelmed
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
feelings, this would be true of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violent
songs, too. A conducted survey in a criminology field has revealed a meaningful correlation between the musical taste of criminals and their brutal crimes.

To sum up, I subscribe to the agreement that there is a link between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violent
music and aggressive
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
can they desensitize the concept of violence,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
subconsciously
, you might be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a violent-free society, the authorities should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
systematic surveillance, including the ban of the songs with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violent
lyrics.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS essay Songs with violent lyrics make people more violent and should be banned. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
263 words
9
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 9.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 9.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 9.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts