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sometimes we are assigned to work in a group on a project. do you agree or disagree with the following statement? the group will be helped more by a person who will be willing to do what other group members want than by a person who often strongly insist v.1

sometimes we are assigned to work in a group on a project. the group will be helped more by a person who will be willing to do what other group members want than by a person who often strongly insist v. 1
These days, many teachers argue that all secondary school pupils should take part in international exchange programs because of their significant advantages. While some people claim that this trend could bring several drawbacks to students, I would believe its benefits can overweight the disadvantages. On the one hand, the obvious challenge of studying abroad for adolescents is the language barrier. For example, teenage school students, who exchange to Australia but not fluent in English, will find it difficult to catch up with their classmates and communicate with their friends and teachers. This, consequently, would make them fall behind with their studies. In addition, students studying abroad might suffer from homesickness. As a result, their mental health could be affected in the negative way. In the long term, those students are likely to be stressful or even depressed. On the other hand, from my perspective, the merits of this trend are far more considerable. Participating in international exchange, teenagers have opportunities to learn about other cultures, which will certainly make those pupils obtain an insight into the culture diversity and the world surrounding them. Furthermore, studying abroad also encourages independence for those school students. This, as a consequence, will develop independent thinking and decision-making skill, which are useful for their future. Finally, it is undeniable that adolescents who take part in these programs will have chances to approach to better education systems. In conclusion, although international exchange for school students might have some disadvantages, I would maintain that this trend has more benefits therefore teenagers should be encouraged to participate in these programs.
These days,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
teachers argue that all secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
pupils should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exchange
programs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their significant advantages. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
claim that this trend could bring several drawbacks to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, I would believe its benefits can overweight the disadvantages.

On the one hand, the obvious challenge of studying abroad for adolescents is the language barrier.
For example
, teenage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exchange
to Australia
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not fluent in English, will find it difficult to catch up with their classmates and communicate with their friends and teachers. This,
consequently
, would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them fall behind with their studies.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
studying abroad might suffer from homesickness.
As a result
, their mental health could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
way. In the long term, those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are likely to be stressful or even depressed.

On the other hand
, from my perspective, the merits of this trend are far more considerable. Participating in international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exchange
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
have opportunities to learn about other cultures, which will
certainly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
those pupils obtain an insight into the culture diversity and the world surrounding them.
Furthermore
, studying abroad
also
encourages independence for those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. This, as a consequence, will develop independent thinking and decision-making
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
, which are useful for their future.
Finally
, it is undeniable that adolescents who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in these programs will have chances to approach to better education systems.

In conclusion
, although international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exchange
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
might have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages, I would maintain that this trend has more benefits
therefore
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
should
be encouraged
to participate in these programs.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay sometimes we are assigned to work in a group on a project. the group will be helped more by a person who will be willing to do what other group members want than by a person who often strongly insist v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
262 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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