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sometimes we are assigned to work on a project. Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The group will be helped more by a person will be willing to do what other group members want than by the person who often strongly insist that things sh v.1

sometimes we are assigned to work on a project. The group will be helped more by a person will be willing to do what other group members want than by the person who often strongly insist that things sh v. 1
It has been apparent in recent years that attitude to the children is an issue that many people feel strongly about. The multitude of general public supposes that parents ought to be more informed about their child’s occupations, while others think that adults need more liberty. This essay will examine both views and give a logical conclusion. There is a common belief that parents should manage their kid’s activities attentively. This is because they say it is now days there are a lot of items, which can have an impact on youngs upbringing like TV programs, social media, handful variety of gangs. To illustrate, based on recent research of Cambridge University the juvenile delinquency among teenagers is to increase. Therefore it is clear that ancestors ought to be more involved in their children nurture. Turning to the other side of the argument, a growing number of people claim that children should have more freedom. The main reason is that kids do not have personal space for developing and all time under pressure from parents and teachers. As a result, they tend to have depression and other diseases. For example, by relying on the investigation of Science Union, there is the fact that the majority of suicides in the world are committed by adults. Hence it is a good idea for parents do not put a lot of responsibilities on their children and give them any freedom. In conclusion, parents should in the certain extend give the freedom of choice, liberty and moderately supervise their kid’s activities.
It has been apparent in recent years that attitude to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is an issue that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
feel
strongly
about. The multitude of
Consider using "public".
general public
supposes that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
ought to be more informed about their child’s occupations, while others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that adults need more liberty. This essay will examine both views and give a logical conclusion.

There is a common belief that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should manage their kid’s activities
attentively
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they say it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
days there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
items, which can have an impact on
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "young", the plural form of the noun 'young'?
youngs
upbringing like TV programs, social media, handful variety of gangs. To illustrate, based on recent research of Cambridge University the juvenile delinquency among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
is to increase.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that ancestors ought to be more involved in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
nurture.

Turning to the other side of the argument, a growing number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
claim that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should have more freedom. The main reason is that kids do not have personal space for developing and all time under pressure from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and teachers.
As a result
, they tend to have depression and other diseases.
For example
, by relying on the investigation of Science Union, there is the fact that the majority of suicides in the world
are committed
by adults.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
it is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
do not put
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
responsibilities on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and give them any freedom.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should in the certain
Did you mean "extent" ('extent' is a noun, 'extend' is a verb)?
extend
give the freedom of choice, liberty and
moderately
supervise their kid’s activities.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay sometimes we are assigned to work on a project. The group will be helped more by a person will be willing to do what other group members want than by the person who often strongly insist that things sh v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
256 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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