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Describe a place that you like to go. You should say: - Where the place is - How you get there - What it looks like. And explain why you like this place v.1

Describe a place that you like to go. You should say: - Where the place is - How you get there - What it looks like. And explain why you like this place v. 1
It is true that getting a job as soon as possible and settle down afterwards may bring back job satisfaction. I partly agree with this idea. On the one hand, there are several reasons why people should change jobs frequently. Firstly, by switching one job from another, people have the chance to broaden their knowledge and master vital soft skills, which is most employers expect these days. For instance, one of my best friend, Hung, 3 years ago, straight after graduating from university, worked for some private companies. During this time, he took this occasion to practice speaking English with his coworkers as much as possible, which helped him improve his English skills a lot. Secondly, young people who often switch jobs can do experience various job environments without long-term commitment in this time and have the opportunities to discover what might be right for them. If one prefer a dynamic job, sitting in front of the computer in the office will disappoint them. As a result, the level of job performance couldn’t reach the hightest point. On the other hand, staying in the same job could be beneficial to some extent. The first reason is that people would benefit from better job prospects, which include promotion opportunities and pay rises, if they stay in a job long term. As experience and commitment are both taken into consideration when a company decide who to promote or to dismiss, those who work longer stand a higher chance of moving up the ladder and earn a more lucrative living. Furthermore, there are various perks follow when one stay in a job for a long time, namely sick leave, holiday entitlement, yearly bonuses, … In addition to better job prospects, keeping working for the same company may help to strengthen the relationship with wonderful colleagues, which will inspire people to the job satisfaction. In conclusion, although I accept that job satisfaction could be found through switching career, I believe that staying in the same job may be advantageous in its own way
It is true that getting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as possible and settle down afterwards may bring back
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
satisfaction. I partly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
.

On the one hand, there are several reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
frequently
.
Firstly
, by switching one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
from another,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have the chance to broaden their knowledge and master vital soft
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, which is most employers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
these days.
For instance
, one of my best friend, Hung, 3 years ago, straight after graduating from university, worked for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
private
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
. During this time, he took this occasion to practice speaking English with his coworkers as much as possible, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
him
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
his English
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
a lot.
Secondly
, young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
switch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
can do experience various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
environments without long-term commitment in this time and have the opportunities to discover what might be right for them. If one prefer a dynamic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, sitting in front of the computer in the office will disappoint them.
As a result
, the level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
performance couldn’t reach the
Possible spelling mistake found.
hightest
point.

On the other hand
, staying in the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
could be beneficial to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent. The
first
reason is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would benefit from better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
prospects, which include promotion opportunities and pay rises, if they stay in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
long term. As experience and commitment are both taken into consideration when a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
decide who to promote or to dismiss, those who work longer stand a higher chance of moving up the ladder and earn a more lucrative living.
Furthermore
, there are various perks follow when one stay in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
for a long time,
namely
sick
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
, holiday entitlement, yearly bonuses, …
In addition
to better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
prospects, keeping working for the same
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to strengthen the relationship with wonderful colleagues, which will inspire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
satisfaction.

In conclusion
, although I accept that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
satisfaction could
be found
through switching career, I believe that staying in the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
may be advantageous in its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
way
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay Describe a place that you like to go. You should say: - Where the place is - How you get there - What it looks like. And explain why you like this place v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
338 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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