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Sometimes child have to engage in outdoor activities not only playing video games

Sometimes child have to engage in outdoor activities not only playing video games 8JlPk
Children have to engage in outdoor activities is more important instead of playing video games, because it's very useful for their physical health. Children fitness is also important, and it's improve by playing outdoor games. When children Playing outdoor games they use their body and mind both. They need group of child for playing outdoor games so it's also increase their communication. They share each other outdoor games material so they get sharing quality. And Enjoy more in their peargroup. While playing video games only uses their mind. They not become fit and if they go out easily they get fatigue. Also not able to communicate with anyone. They need privacy always. If sometime parents want that their child meet their social group but because of they do not want to communicate they are not going in social gathering. Moreover, it's frankly seen that child have to engage in out door activities instead of playing video games for their physical fitness, mental health, communication, sharing quality and last but not least they get their social peargroup so they attend any social meeting and gathering with more confidence and actively.
Children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
engage in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outdoor
activities is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
it's
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
useful for their physical health.

Children fitness is
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
it's
The word 'improve' is not a noun. Did you mean "improvement"?
improve
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outdoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
. When children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outdoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their body and mind both.

They need group of child for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outdoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
it's
also
Consider using a past participle here: "increased".
increase
their communication. They share each other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outdoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
material
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
sharing quality. And Enjoy more in their
Possible spelling mistake found.
peargroup
.

“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
their mind.

They not become fit and if they go out
easily
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
fatigue.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
not able to communicate with anyone. They need privacy
The adverb 'always' is usually not used at the end of a sentence.
always
. If sometime parents want that their child
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
group
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
Probable usage error. Use "because they" instead.
because of they
do not want to communicate they are not going in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
gathering.

Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
it's
frankly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that child
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
engage in out door activities
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
for their physical fitness, mental health, communication, sharing quality and last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
peargroup
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they attend any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
meeting and gathering with more confidence and
actively
.
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IELTS essay Sometimes child have to engage in outdoor activities not only playing video games

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
189 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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