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As a result of the revolution that happened to the world, many issues had been

As a result of the revolution that happened to the world, many issues had been 2Pwq6
As a result of the revolution that happened to the world, many issues had been increased. Among these air and water pollution in development countries, due to the industry and construction. Many people believed that reducing the number of industry in one city will be helpful in many ways. To illustrate, there is a lot of factories in individual city, which is not essential to have a huge number of industries, as having one factory will be acceptable. Consequently, fresh air will reach a high level rather than before. Also, water will be clean enough for consumption. As the industries tools that people through the water will be decrease. On the other hand the construction, is another reason of the air and water pollution. Since the high rapped of building homes, there were many problems from this field. For example, throwing rubbish in the water has an impact effect. To solve this problem government should make strict rules and fines on people that do not follow the safe way on constructions. In addition, using friendly environment tools on works are an excellent idea for preventing issues. In conclusion, many different pollution that we face nowadays one of these are reducing the quality of air or water. consequently, countries developed they have to prevent any kind of issues that will destroy our planet. Nothing of these development will matter if it results to many problems in our healthiness. Furthermore, government had the responsible of all these pollution's, as they have the power in making decision.
As a result
of the revolution that happened to the world,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
issues had
been increased
. Among these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
pollution in development countries, due to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
and construction.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believed that reducing the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
in one city will be helpful in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways. To illustrate, there is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
factories in individual city, which is not essential to have a huge number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
, as having one factory will be acceptable.
Consequently
, fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
will reach a high level
rather
than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.
Also
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
will be clean
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
for consumption.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
tools that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
through the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
will be decrease.

On the other hand
the construction, is another reason of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
pollution. Since the high rapped of building homes, there were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems from this field.
For example
, throwing rubbish in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
has an impact effect. To solve this problem
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
strict
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and fines on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that do not follow the safe way on constructions.
In addition
, using friendly environment tools on works are an excellent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
for preventing issues.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
pollution that we face nowadays one of these are reducing the quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
consequently
, countries developed they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
any kind of issues that will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
our planet. Nothing of
Did you mean "this development" or "these developments"?
these development
will matter if it results to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems in our healthiness.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
had the
The usual collocations for "responsible" is "responsible for". Did you mean "responsible for" or "in charge of"?
responsible of
all
Did you mean "this pollution" or "these pollutions"?
these pollution
's, as they have the power in making decision.
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IELTS essay As a result of the revolution that happened to the world, many issues had been

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
254 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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