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Sometimes a country feels like they must choose between protecting the environment and encouraging economic development. What is your opinion on the matter?

Sometimes a country feels like they must choose between protecting the environment and encouraging economic development. What is your opinion on the matter? J3gMk
It would seem that at times government has to make a choice between economy and environment. That is the difficult dilemma and hard to chose one as both of them implies important. This is the complex issue. In my opinion, environmental progress is much vital than any other political or economical situation. In the first place, surroundings have the biggest impact on our life. We can say, it is the head of the chain and we are the hand of that. Which means human society unconsciously connected to the nature. If it works wrongly, the earth population can’t make it better with just a single action or continue to bloom other fields of life. On the other hand, financially progress makes people’s way of life much comfortable and easier. Plus to this, it helps to encourage different social life, for example, medicine, art, education, agriculture and etc. However, health of human beings is the number one aspect of everybody’s ambition. In conclusion, the Earth is the only place humans live and we must protect it. Only a little negligence may cause unexpected disaster that leads to start everything from the beginning.
It would seem that at times
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a choice between economy and environment.
That is
the difficult dilemma and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to chose one as both of them implies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
. This is the complex issue. In my opinion, environmental progress is much
Use "(vital)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
vital
than any other political or
Did you mean "economic" (=connected with economy)?
economical
situation. In the
first
place, surroundings have the biggest impact on our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. We can say, it is the head of the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
chain and
we are the hand of that.
“Which” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Which
means human society
unconsciously
connected to the nature. If it works
wrongly
, the earth population can’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it better with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a single action or continue to bloom other fields of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
On the other hand
,
financially
progress
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s way of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
much comfortable and easier. Plus to this, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to encourage
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
,
for example
, medicine, art, education, agriculture
Write the name of the item after 'and' or use only "etc".
and etc
.
However
, health of human beings is the number one aspect of everybody’s ambition.
In conclusion
, the Earth is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
place humans
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
live and
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
protect it.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
negligence may cause unexpected disaster that leads to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
everything from the beginning.
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IELTS essay Sometimes a country feels like they must choose between protecting the environment and encouraging economic development. What is your opinion on the matter?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
191 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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