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In modern days, there is a shortage of information about well-known historical people due to the fact that young people tend to prefer international celebrities such as pop stars and movie stars. This essay will discuss the causes and give some solutions to solve this situation.

In modern days, there is a shortage of information about well-known historical people due to the fact that young people tend to prefer international celebrities such as pop stars and movie stars. This essay will discuss the causes and give some solutions to solve this situation. 1bKJq
In modern days, there is a shortage of information about well-known historical people due to the fact that young people tend to prefer international celebrities such as pop stars and movie stars. This essay will discuss the causes and give some solutions to solve this situation. One of the main reasons is the enhancement of the entertainment industry in the technological world. Abdolescents can easily look for international artists’ information on social networking platforms, for example Facebook, Instagram and Twitter. There are more and more famous movies released not only on television but also on movie apps. It is more convenient for adolescents to watch films of during their free time. Young people also enjoy the fascinating plot of movies of international movie stars. Moreover, young people are into listening to music to relieve stress after being diligent during a day. Those songs of international singers are extremely catching to them such as US-UK songs and K-POP songs. Therefore, there is a significant increase in the number of young people approach to comedies and songs of international artists. Another reason is the history lessons are really boring that can not attract attention of students. At school, teachers transmit vast amounts of knowledge mechanically and has students transcribing through the whole page. When students take a test, they try hard to get the best scores. They don’t spend time to research about history events as well as famous people in the history, they just learn by heart. After tests, students remember a little bit information they have learned and hardly any more. Firstly, to increase the information about well-known people in the history, directors ought to make movies about history of their own countries. The awareness about the historical celebrity can be created by making documentaries or cinema based-on their life. The film makers need to invest more in the picture as well as on the script of the film based on the key history. Especially a careful casting should be done with actors who perform well, as this will attract more viewers. Furthermore, the teaching method need to be changed. Teachers may create more outdoor activities for students such as visiting some historical places. After that, students write report and do presentation about that trip. Students have more amazing experiences, that leads to they will find interested in history as well as historical celebrities. In conclusion, adolescents are attracted to international celebrities and are increasingly less interested in the history of their countries. However, it can be controlled by making more historical films and changing the teaching method so that adolescents engage more interested in history.
In modern days, there is a shortage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
about well-known
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
due to the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to prefer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
celebrities such as pop stars and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
stars. This essay will discuss the causes and give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solutions to solve this situation.

One of the main reasons is the enhancement of the entertainment industry in the technological world.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Abdolescents
can
easily
look for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
artists’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
on social networking platforms,
for example
Facebook, Instagram and Twitter. There are more and more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
released not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
on television
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
apps. It is more convenient for adolescents to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
films of during their free time.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
also
enjoy the fascinating plot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
stars.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are into listening to music to relieve
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
after being diligent during a day. Those songs of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
singers are
extremely
catching to them such as US-UK songs and K-POP songs.
Therefore
, there is a significant increase in the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
approach to comedies and songs of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
artists. Another reason is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
lessons are
really
boring that can not attract attention of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. At school, teachers transmit vast amounts of knowledge
mechanically
and has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
transcribing through the whole page. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
take a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
, they try
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the best scores. They don’t spend time to research about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
learn by heart. After
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tests
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
remember a
Reduce redundancy by using "little" or "bit".
little bit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
they have learned and hardly
Did you mean the adverb "anymore"?
any more
.

Firstly
, to increase the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
about well-known
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
, directors ought to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
countries. The awareness about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
celebrity can
be created
by making documentaries or cinema based-on their life. The film makers need to invest more in the picture as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as on the script of the film based on the key
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
.
Especially
a careful casting should
be done
with actors who perform
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
, as this will attract more viewers.
Furthermore
, the teaching method need to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
. Teachers may create more outdoor activities for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
such as visiting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
places. After that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
write report and do presentation about that trip.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
have more amazing experiences, that leads to they will find interested in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
celebrities.

In conclusion
, adolescents
are attracted
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
celebrities and are
increasingly
less interested in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
of their countries.
However
, it can
be controlled
by making more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
films and changing the teaching method
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that adolescents engage more interested in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
.
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IELTS essay In modern days, there is a shortage of information about well-known historical people due to the fact that young people tend to prefer international celebrities such as pop stars and movie stars. This essay will discuss the causes and give some solutions to solve this situation.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
436 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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