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: Someone once said that people can’t decide their family background but who they are when they die. What is your opinion?

: Someone once said that people can’t decide their family background but who they are when they die. What is your opinion? kjkQ8
Each person has a diary for their own life. Some people are lucky and happy, but there are also people who are unlucky and unhappy. Because they can’t decide their family background but who they are when they die. It is their way of life that brings them luck or unhappiness. Where people were born does not mean where they will die. So I absolutely agree with this viewpoint. People all have a family, the family where they were born. There are families that are full of happiness and laughter, but there are also families that are cold, even like the hell. There are poor families who live in poverty all their lives, but there are also rich families, when they were born, you lived in luxury. No matter which family people belong to, that place affects them a lot, can help them to live better, but it can also drown them. But they have the right to choose how they will live, that is how to overcome the situation, adapt to life. It is the way people live that determines who they are, changes their circumstances. Of course, being born into a rich family, life will be better than being born into a poor peasant family. To exemplify, Professor Ngo Bao Chau, born into a family of excellent teachers, was also fortunate to receive knowledge from his family. If he had not tried to study hard like everyone else, he would never have reached the prestigious Fields award. If people were born in a poor family, the situation makes them always raise their will to get out of poverty, get out of dark life, then sooner or later, they will seize the opportunity and become rich. It is poverty that pushes them to become rich, so it is not that people were born poor, disadvantage always pushes them to the abyss. They will change their own situation. For example, Maksim Gorky, was born in Nizhny Novgorod and became an orphan at the age of ten. He was raised by his grandmother. In his youth, he used to wander all over Russia and do all kinds of jobs to earn a living: junk trader, porter, street vendor. Not because of the family’s difficulty and poverty made him discouraged. And that made him work hard and become a Russian writer prominent at that time. So people need to choose a suitable way of life to take their situation as a starting point and move on. In conclusion, family background is not important, who they are when they die. There is nothing bad and nothing more pitiful than ruining their own life because of life circumstances.
Each person has a diary for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are lucky and happy,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are unlucky and unhappy.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
they can’t decide their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
background
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
they are when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
. It is their way of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
that brings them luck or unhappiness.
“Where” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were born
does not mean where they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
I
absolutely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this viewpoint.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
all have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
where they
were born
. There are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
that are full of happiness and laughter,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
that are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cold
, even like the hell. There are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
all their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
, when they
were born
, you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
in luxury. No matter which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
belong to, that place affects them a lot, can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
better,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it can
also
drown them.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
they have the right to choose how they will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
,
that is
how to overcome the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
, adapt to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. It is the way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
that determines
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
they are,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
their circumstances.
Of course
,
being born
into a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
will be better than
being born
into a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
peasant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. To exemplify, Professor
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ngo
Possible spelling mistake found.
Bao
Possible spelling mistake found.
Chau
, born into a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
of excellent teachers, was
also
fortunate to receive knowledge from his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. If he had not tried to study
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
like everyone else, he would never have reached the prestigious Fields award.

If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were born
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them always raise their will to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
out of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
out of dark
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, then sooner or later, they will seize the opportunity and become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
. It is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
that pushes them to become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is not that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were born
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
, disadvantage always pushes them to the abyss. They will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
.
For example
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Maksim
Gorky,
was born
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Nizhny
Novgorod and became an orphan at the age of ten. He
was raised
by his grandmother. In his youth, he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to wander all over Russia and do all kinds of jobs to earn a living: junk trader, porter, street vendor. Not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family’s
difficulty and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
made him discouraged. And that made him work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
and become a Russian writer prominent at that time.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need to choose a suitable way of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
to take their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
as a starting point and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
on.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
background is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
they are when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
. There is nothing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
and nothing more pitiful than ruining their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
circumstances.
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IELTS essay : Someone once said that people can’t decide their family background but who they are when they die. What is your opinion?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
444 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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