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ln mosl of lhe societies, lhe role of molher ond folher differs. Whol ore lhe couses of this difference? Whol will be lhe porenlol roles in future?

ln mosl of lhe societies, lhe role of molher ond folher differs. Whol ore lhe couses of this difference? Whol will be lhe porenlol roles in future? BWBba
The past half-century has seen a dramatic increase in parental roles in the children's lifestyle. father and mother both have an individual and are equally responsible for the growth of the child physically and mentally. But still some countries and societies have a different thinking that their role differs. In this essay, I will examine this discussion and overall provide my reasons. To begin, in most of society and some poor countries, the believe that roles of a mother just bring birth to a child and working at home and the onus of father is to earn money and does not have to any things about their children care while women are deprived of working out. The first and common reason for this difference is that people are illiterate and they are below the poverty and do not aware about the cons or prons things. Secondly, they follow the old and traditional ideas. Take Iran as the most obvious example people who live in Iran claim that women have to work at home and men out at work. Thirdly, in some religious governments, men and women do have not the same rate level in society simply put, there are descriptions of jobs for both of them for instance, women can not be able to drive in Islamic countries or men can not be women doctors. However, in the future, the scenario will change. We are living in an era of globalization in 21 century in addition, nowadays people are educated and aware about new skills around the world, parents understand their responsibility and divided times work than family time and they know families are the building blocks of the society. To conclude, there are many reasons for gender differences but in the future, I predicted to hold no such differences.
The past half-century has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
a dramatic increase in parental roles in the children's lifestyle.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
father
and mother both have an individual and are
equally
responsible for the growth of the child
physically
and mentally.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
still
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries and societies have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
thinking that their role differs. In this essay, I will examine this discussion and
overall
provide my reasons.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
, in
Consider using "most society" or "most of the society".
most of society
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
poor countries, the
Did you mean "belief" (noun) instead of believe (verb)?
believe
that roles of a mother
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
bring birth to a child and working at home and the onus of father is to earn money and does not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
any things about their children care while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are deprived
of working out. The
first
and common reason for this difference is that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
illiterate and
they are below the poverty and do not aware about the cons or
Possible spelling mistake found.
prons
things.
Secondly
, they follow the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
and traditional
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
. Take Iran as the most obvious example
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in Iran claim that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
work at home and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
out at work.

Thirdly
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
religious
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
do have not the same rate level in society
simply
put, there are descriptions of jobs for both of them
for instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
can not be able to drive in Islamic countries or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
can not be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
doctors.

However
, in the future, the scenario will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
. We are living in an era of globalization in
Did you mean "21st century"?
21 century
in addition
, nowadays
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are educated
and aware about new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
around the world, parents understand their responsibility and divided times
Use "worker" to make a comparison with this adjective.
work
than family
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
time and
they know families are the building blocks of the society.

To conclude
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons for gender differences
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in the future, I predicted to hold no such differences.
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IELTS essay ln mosl of lhe societies, lhe role of molher ond folher differs. Whol ore lhe couses of this difference? Whol will be lhe porenlol roles in future?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
300 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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