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Parents should encourage children to spend less time on studying and more time on doing physical activity to what extent do you agree or disagree agree or disagree

Parents should encourage children to spend less time on studying and more time on doing physical activity agree or disagree 1m0BW
There is not even shadow of doubt that, education and sports play an instrumental role in everyone life. However, guradines must motivate juvenile spend shorter time on learning and a plethora time on doing physical skills. In my opinion, i disagree with this statement. I will put both view points in forthcoming paragraphs with pertinent and conclusion. To begin with, the first and the foremost reason is that education plays an imperative role in every Philips life. Youngsters spend equivalent time on education as well as other skills. Due to contemporary technology, education hepls to learn new things and develop creativity. In addition, teenager imagination power also increase in this way. After, completing education they go abroad for higher study, they can gain enrich knowledge as well as their communication skills have so improve. In competition era, schooling is extremely beneficial to everyone because they teach any other masses, earn handsome salary and fulfill their rudimentary needs. On the other hand, sports are also superb to everyone health because in addition, all individuals fit and maintain their health. Ig they feel tired after that, they play physical skills they feel relaxation. sports is a source of entertainment. To epitome, a recent survey conducted by MK University shows that 78% individuals concentration on study as well as do physical activity and feel relax. Parents also encourage to children doing both education and sports because both are immediately resemblance in these days. To conclusion, it is clear that, both are very necessary to all teenager. In this way, they gain depth knowledge and play sports and do any other activities they feel relaxation because these activities such as playing sports, painting, listening to music is a source of entertainment and they increase the philips imagination
There is not even shadow of doubt that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
an instrumental role in everyone life.
However
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
guradines
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
motivate juvenile spend shorter time on learning and a plethora time on doing physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
. In my opinion,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
disagree with this statement. I will put both view points in forthcoming paragraphs with pertinent and conclusion.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the
first
and the foremost reason is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plays
an imperative role in every Philips life. Youngsters spend equivalent time on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
. Due to contemporary technology,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
Possible spelling mistake found.
hepls
to learn new things and develop creativity.
In addition
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
imagination power
also
increase in this way. After, completing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
they go abroad for higher study, they can gain enrich knowledge
as well
as their communication
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: "improved".
improve
. In competition era, schooling is
extremely
beneficial to everyone
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they teach any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
masses, earn handsome salary and fulfill their rudimentary needs.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are
also
superb to everyone health
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
in addition
, all individuals fit and maintain their health.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ig
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
tired after that, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
relaxation.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
sports
is a source of entertainment. To epitome, a recent survey conducted by MK University
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that 78% individuals concentration on study
as well
as do physical activity and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
relax. Parents
also
encourage to children doing both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
both are immediately resemblance in these days.

To conclusion, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that, both are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
necessary to all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
. In this way, they gain depth knowledge and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and do any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
activities they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
relaxation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these activities such as playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
, painting, listening to music is a source of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
entertainment and
they increase the
Possible spelling mistake found.
philips
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
imagination
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IELTS essay Parents should encourage children to spend less time on studying and more time on doing physical activity agree or disagree

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
292 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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