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In many countries, people are moving from rural areas to urban areas. What are the reasons for this? What problems can this cause?

In many countries, people are moving from rural areas to urban areas. What are the reasons for this? What problems can this cause? QMBGX
It is the globally case that people transferring from the countryside to cities. There are some reasons related to this issue, and I think that it will bring more negatives than positives. To begin with, there are several driving forces behind people are moving to big cities. Firstly, people often view rural areas as backward and poor. For instance, through television country people can realize that cities are really modern while there are no public transportation or entertainment places in their living areas. Secondly, moving to urban areas can help humans find a lot of job opportunities with high salaries. This means that they will have more choices for their life such as living in a fully furnished apartment, chasing their personal preference, and their children have better learning conditions. However, this tendency might bring about some negative effects in the future. The first impact is that population imbalance between urban and rural areas. When people are moving to crowded cities, there are less people in rural areas so it might cause population decline and economic setback. Another critical implication is that unemployment and diseases will be happen in big cities. Because competition will be increased significantly among city dwellers so a lot of people will become homeless and easily get health problems. In conclusion, people are moving from rural areas to urban areas can be ascribed to a number of reasons, and I think not all implications of this tendency have been positives.
It is the globally case that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
transferring from the countryside to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons related to this issue, and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it will bring more negatives than positives.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are several driving forces behind
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
moving
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
view
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
as backward and poor.
For instance
, through television country
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can realize that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
are
really
modern while there are no public transportation or entertainment places in their living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
moving
to urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
humans find
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
job opportunities with high salaries. This means that they will have more choices for their life such as living in a
fully
furnished apartment, chasing their personal preference, and their children have better learning conditions.

However
, this tendency might bring about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects in the future. The
first
impact is that population imbalance between urban and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
moving
to crowded
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
, there are
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun people is countable.
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it might cause population decline and economic setback. Another critical implication is that unemployment and diseases will be
Consider using the past participle "happened"?
happen
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
competition will
be increased
significantly
among city dwellers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will become homeless and
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
health problems.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
moving
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
to urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
can
be ascribed
to a number of reasons, and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
not all implications of this tendency have been positives.
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IELTS essay In many countries, people are moving from rural areas to urban areas. What are the reasons for this? What problems can this cause?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
244 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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