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Some young people tend to have a year of traveling before they start university and see it as a chance to broaden their knowledge. Others think that people should attend university right after graduation from high school. Discuss both views.

Some young people tend to have a year of traveling before they start university and see it as a chance to broaden their knowledge. Others think that people should attend university right after graduation from high school. X7x3N
Over the past few years, the phenomenon which some young people delay one year for traveling before furthering their study in university or college has become increasingly popular. They believe that it is good for them and see it as an opportunity to enrich their knowledge. In contrast, other people hold an argument that young people should take part in courses at university straight after graduation from high school. Therefore, in this essay, I am going to investigate these issues from both points of view. On the one hand, there are a variety of benefits to explain why there is a growing tendency that people use a year traveling before they start university. Firstly, taking a gap year give students the opportunity to experience different cultures. Exploring different ways of living can help them widen their horizons and see the world from different perspectives. Therefore, thanks to these experiences, they can extremely understand themselves result in choosing an appropriate major to study at university after. For example, my teacher at my university went to many places in my country after he left high school. He saw a lot of poor people who have many difficulties in daily life so that he opted for an economic major due to the fact that he wants to grow the economy of my country. Finally, spending a year of traveling help students become more independent and have some skills which are good for their preparations in the future. They can learn how to problem-solving, manage their budget, and take care of themselves as an adult for the first time. These skills help them be more ready to tackle difficult situations and challenges. To sum up, there are some primary advantages which students who decide to delay a year for traveling. On the other hand, it can be noted that some people believe that it is better if students attend university immediately after graduation from high school. This is due to some following merits. The first benefit is that studying at university earlier helps students gain knowledge and culture about life and the world faster and safer. The fundamental subjects in university not only help them have academic knowledge but also boost their soft skills such as communication, problem-solving, or time management ones. The second benefit is that if people have good qualifications earlier, they will have more opportunities to get well-paid jobs than other ones. For instance, if young people graduate delayed a year, the employers can take full staff so that they do not appoint any person for them. In short, there are some major benefits that are convenient if people choose to further education right after leaving high school. In conclusion, I believe both arguments have their own merits. On balance, however, I feel that the second view is more reasonable on account of what I aforementioned significant benefits.
Over the past few years, the phenomenon which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
delay one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
for traveling
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
furthering their study in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
or college has become
increasingly
popular. They believe that it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for them and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
it as an opportunity to enrich their knowledge.
In contrast
, other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
hold an argument that young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in courses at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
straight after graduation from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
school.
Therefore
, in this essay, I am going to investigate these issues from both points of view.

On the one hand, there are a variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why there is a growing tendency that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
traveling
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
.
Firstly
, taking a gap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
the opportunity to experience
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultures. Exploring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways of living can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them widen their horizons and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the world from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
perspectives.
Therefore
, thanks to these experiences, they can
extremely
understand themselves result in choosing an appropriate major to study at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
after.
For example
, my teacher at my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
went to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
places in my country after he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
school. He
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
difficulties in daily life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that he opted for an economic major due to the fact that he wants to grow the economy of my country.
Finally
, spending a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
of traveling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
become more independent and have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
which are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for their preparations in the future. They can learn how to problem-solving, manage their budget, and take care of themselves as an adult for the
first
time. These
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them be more ready to tackle difficult situations and challenges. To sum up, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
primary advantages which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who decide to delay a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
for traveling.

On the other hand
, it can
be noted
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that it is better if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
attend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
immediately after graduation from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
school. This is due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
following merits. The
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefit
is that studying at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
earlier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
gain knowledge and culture about life and the world faster and safer. The fundamental subjects in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them have academic knowledge
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
boost their soft
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
such as communication, problem-solving, or time management
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefit
is that if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
qualifications earlier, they will have more opportunities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
well-paid jobs than other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
.
For instance
, if young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
graduate delayed a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
, the employers can take full staff
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they do not appoint any person for them. In short, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
that are convenient if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
choose to
further
education right after leaving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
school.

In conclusion
, I believe both arguments have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
merits. On balance,
however
, I feel that the second view is more reasonable on account of what I aforementioned significant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
.
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IELTS essay Some young people tend to have a year of traveling before they start university and see it as a chance to broaden their knowledge. Others think that people should attend university right after graduation from high school.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
477 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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