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Some young people prefer to leave school at 16 or 18 to get a job, while others feel that there are more advantages to entering university after finishing their school education. What are the advantages and disadvantages of leaving school at 16 or 18 to work instead of going to university?

People who leave school at 16 or 18 thinks it's good to job instead of doing further study. Some of the students dont have the resources to go for further studies, so they are forced to leave study behind and start doing job while the students who want to study more and more is like investment the more they study the more they are likely to get a perfectly paid job. The advantage of leaving study or school at 16 or 18 is you can be more professional in the society rather than the kid who tries to continue the study. whereas the disadvantage of leaving study behind could not make the student more ethical or good in a society. The thing is our society is like the more you have studied the more you will get respect. While advantage of continuing the study will give you much respect in society and ethics of being in a society and the disadvantage is like you still have to depend on your father or family for further studies unless you are doing a part time job to carry on your studies. In my opinion, one should carry his studies and do a part time job for himself. My persosnal experience os of myself, I am studying in the university doing a job while there is my cousin who dont study he left at 16 and is doing job the respect in the family I have is far more than him who just do job.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
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who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
school at 16 or 18
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
it's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
to
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job
instead
of
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doing
further
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study
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
of the students dont have the resources to go for
further
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studies
,
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so
they
are forced
to
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leave
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study
behind and
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start
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doing
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job
while the students
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who
want to
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study
more and more is like investment the more they
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study
the more they are likely to
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get
a
perfectly
paid
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job
. The advantage of leaving
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study
or school at 16 or 18 is you can be more professional in the
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society
rather
than the kid
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who
tries to continue the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
. whereas the disadvantage of leaving
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study
behind could not
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make
the student more ethical or
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good
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. The thing is our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
is like the more you have studied the more you will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
respect. While advantage of continuing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
will give you much respect in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
and ethics of being in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
and the disadvantage is like you
still
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
depend on your father or family for
further
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
unless you are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
a part time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
to carry on your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
. In my opinion, one should carry his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
and do a part time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
for himself. My persosnal experience os of myself, I am studying in the university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
while there is my cousin
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
dont
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
at 16 and is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
the respect in the family I have is far more than him
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
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IELTS essay Some young people prefer to leave school at 16 or 18 to get a job, while others feel that there are more advantages to entering university after finishing their school education. What are the advantages and disadvantages of leaving school at 16 or 18 to work instead of going to university?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
252 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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