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Health experts believe that walking is a a good exercise for health. However, people are walking less nowadays. why is this happening? How can people be encouraged to work more?

Doctors think that walking is a good for maintaining a good health. However, people are working less in these days. There are many reasons why people shun walking. nevertheless people can be motivated by various ways such as awaring by the government. On the one hand, people have a lack of time in earlier days. They have become workaholic. People main motive to earn money. As compared to past days people become lazy. They use their mobile phones from morning to evening. For example, news of is a world's busiest City. Although, people of New York city is rich, they are not fit and fine. As a result, there are obese and suffered from dangerous diseases. On the other hand, through the awareness campaigns human beings encouraged to walk more. government should organiseto health camps, constructs parks and jogging tracks. In this way people know about the advantage of walking. Walking makes people to healthy. community leader should we teach to human beings advantages of walking and exercise. people are encouraged to less use of social media by government programs. for instance, in major cities government has constructed parks. People can visit there for walking. As a result, masses can away from diseases and they become fit and fine. In conclusion, human kinds manage its time for health and family. Government should advertise about health benefits and so on.
Doctors
think
that walking is a
good
for maintaining a
good
health
.
However
,
people
are working less in these days. There are
many
reasons why
people
shun walking.
nevertheless
people
can
be motivated
by various ways such as awaring by the
government
.

On the one hand,
people
have a lack of time in earlier days. They have become workaholic.
People
main motive to earn money. As compared to past days
people
become lazy. They
use
their mobile phones from morning to evening.
For example
, news of is a world's busiest City. Although,
people
of New York city is rich, they are not fit and fine.
As a result
, there are obese and suffered from
dangerous
diseases.

On the other hand
, through the awareness campaigns human beings encouraged to walk more.
government
should organiseto
health
camps, constructs parks and jogging
tracks
. In this way
people
know about the advantage of walking. Walking
makes
people
to healthy. community leader should we teach to human beings advantages of walking and exercise.
people
are encouraged
to less
use
of social media by
government
programs.
for instance
, in major cities
government
has constructed parks.
People
can visit there for walking.
As a result
, masses can away from diseases and they become fit and fine.

In conclusion
, human kinds manage its time for
health
and family.
Government
should advertise about
health
benefits and
so
on.
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IELTS essay Health experts believe that walking is a a good exercise for health. However, people are walking less nowadays. why is this happening? How can people be encouraged to work more?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
229 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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