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Some working parents believe that childcare centers can provide the best care for their children. Others, however,think that family members, such as grand parents, can do it better. Discuss both these views and give you own opinion.

Some working parents believe that childcare centers can provide the best care for their children. Others, however, think that family members, such as grand parents, can do it better. KWBEM
Sending children to kindergartens or to their close relatives are two popular ways for child care these days. People are debating about which method is the best choice, while in my perspective, these two ways for child care should be combined. Starting with childcare centres, there are numerous advantages in developing children's interests and skills. For example, there are many child care centres that offer music curriculums, which cultivates children's interests in playing instruments, and this is one of the most important skills that many top universities are looking for. There are still a number of courses such as math or science, which develop the independent thinking skills of children. Here is another advantage of child care of kindergartens. It is quite common that a lot of grandparents cannot bear to criticise their grandsons/daughters, which will affect the children to form correct values. Moreover, it is also advantageous in certain aspects for close relatives to take care of the children. Love from their relatives has a positive influence on the personality of children in the future, which can be advantageous for the child to make friends. On the contrary, staying in an unfamiliar environment such as child care facilities will make the children stressful. If the teachers who did not receive qualified training are unable to recognise the emotion of children, this may lead to mental problems. While in this case, the problem is less likely to happen when children are staying with their grandparents. To conclude, both sending children to child care centres or to their grandparents have their own advantages and drawbacks, but I believe that the former is still a better choice, since modern society is full of fierce competition, and kindergartens with properly trained teachers can help children to prepare for this.
Sending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to kindergartens or to their close relatives are two popular ways for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
these days.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
are debating about which method is the best choice, while in my perspective, these two ways for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
should
be combined
.

Starting with childcare
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
, there are numerous advantages in developing children's interests and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
For example
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
that offer music curriculums, which cultivates children's interests in playing instruments, and this is one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
top universities are looking for. There are
still
a number of courses such as math or science, which develop the independent thinking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. Here is another advantage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of kindergartens. It is quite common that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
grandparents cannot bear to
Possible spelling mistake. 'criticise' is British English.
criticise
their grandsons/daughters, which will affect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to form correct values.

Moreover
, it is
also
advantageous in certain aspects for close relatives to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Love
from their relatives has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
influence on the personality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in the future, which can be advantageous for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
friends.
On the contrary
, staying in an unfamiliar environment such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
facilities will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
stressful. If the teachers who did not receive qualified training are unable to
Possible spelling mistake. 'recognise' is British English.
recognise
the emotion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, this may lead to mental problems. While
in this case
, the problem is less likely to happen when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are staying with their grandparents.

To conclude
, both sending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
or to their grandparents have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
advantages and drawbacks,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I believe that the former is
still
a better choice, since modern society is full of fierce competition, and kindergartens with
properly
trained teachers can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to prepare for this.
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IELTS essay Some working parents believe that childcare centers can provide the best care for their children. Others, however, think that family members, such as grand parents, can do it better.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
296 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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