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Some want advertisement to be banned

Some want advertisement to be banned mbXRL
I is often argued that adverse types of advertisement must to be discontinued. I assume that only false adverts need to be banned. First of all, through advertisements people get aware of newly launched products because it is the only way by which masses come to know about specifications of new amenities. ultimatly, individuals decide is new product beneficial for them or not. Apart from this, advertisement not only inform mankind about new things but also enhance sales as companies audiences increase with the popularity of their adds. On contrast, advertiser product product's "add" clips with knowledge of humanistic psychological behaviour that make consumers curious to buy. In this way, customer get exploited, thus they ruined their savings by buying unsatisfactory product. Another natorious aspect of advertisement is that they show fictional stories in order to create hype of their products for example red bull's add creators show that' it can give you wings' which only truthless. Hence, this type of adds must be exited. In conclusion, according to the aforementioned view, advertisement which are not to the point should be stopped in order to uplift mankind's trust in adds
I
Did you mean "am" or "will be"?
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that adverse types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
After 'must', the verb is used without 'to'. Probably, you should use "must" or "have to" here.
must to
be discontinued
. I assume that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
false adverts need to
be banned
.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
aware of
newly
launched
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
way by which masses
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to know about specifications of new amenities.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
ultimatly
, individuals decide is new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
beneficial for them or not. Apart from this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
inform mankind about new things
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
enhance sales as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
audiences increase with the popularity of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
adds
.

On contrast, advertiser
Possible typo: you repeated a word
product product
's
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
clips with knowledge of humanistic psychological
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
consumers curious to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
. In this way, customer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
exploited,
thus
they ruined their savings by buying unsatisfactory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
. Another
Possible spelling mistake found.
natorious
aspect of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
is that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
fictional stories in order to create hype of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
for example
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
red bull
's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
creators
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that' it can give you wings' which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
Possible spelling mistake found.
truthless
.
Hence
, this type of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
adds
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be exited
.

In conclusion
, according to the aforementioned view,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
which are not to the point should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
in order to uplift mankind's trust in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
adds
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IELTS essay Some want advertisement to be banned

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
189 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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