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Some universities now offer their courses on the Internet so that people can study online Is this a positive or negative development v.1

Some universities now offer their courses on the Internet so that people can study online Is this a positive or negative development v. 1
The universities and colleges are citadels of learning, as well as skill-enhancement, moral education. They are places where pupils of diverse cultures, ethnicities, backgrounds and religions come together with the major purpose of knowledge acquisition. Moreover, some students want to get better for their ambition while others want to get social status at first. In my perspective, I think that getting into them is upgrading your ability, as a result of making yourself better. This essay will discuss about 2 reasons why people attend colleges. Let we consider someone go to those institutions for the experience. I think they go there to meet new people who are in different countries, various levels of intelligence and cooperate with them to develop. By so doing, he gradually imbibes intelligence at different levels and at different points. For instance, one of my friends, who just want to change his environment of the office, go to the school to get higher institution. He wants to have new experiences and that he did it it very well during the course which I've learnt with him. This shows me that they want to go to the college or university, which is just for wisdom. Most of people attend the academy and colleagues to get a career and happy with that. In today's world, the authority as well as the society declares the degree form those places are the key for each person if they want to go in life. People are going to universities because this is the most common way of getting the education. The sole purpose of a college or university is to ensure the proper theoretical and moral education to build the ideal citizens the country needs and this is the system which is unquestionably accepted by the society. In conclusion, an educational institution for me is like a crucible, a furnace where minds are moulded with the fire of knowledge in other to adapt to the outside world. We may have different reasons why we enter the colleges and universities, but one thing and only, but one thing is for sure, the core reason why people attend the university and college is to increase knowledge.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
and colleges are citadels of learning,
as well
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
-enhancement, moral education. They are places where pupils of diverse cultures, ethnicities, backgrounds and religions
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
together with the major purpose of knowledge acquisition.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
better for their ambition while others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
social status at
first
. In my perspective, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that getting into them is upgrading your ability,
as a result
of making yourself better. This essay will
Did you mean simply "discuss 2"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about 2
reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
attend colleges.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
Please check whether an object form is required here.
we
consider someone
The pronoun 'someone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "goes", "went".
go
to those institutions for the experience. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
they go there to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
countries, various levels of intelligence and cooperate with them to develop. By
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
doing, he
gradually
imbibes intelligence at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
levels and at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
points.
For instance
, one of my friends, who
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
his environment of the office, go to the school to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
higher institution. He
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wants
to have new experiences and that he did
It seems you either mean "it is", "if it", "it" or there is a comma missing: "it, it".
it it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
well during the course which I've
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
with him. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
me that they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to go to the college or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
, which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
for wisdom.

Most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
attend the academy and colleagues to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a career and happy with that. In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's world, the authority
as well
as the society declares the degree form those places are the key for each person if they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to go in life.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this is the most common way of getting the education. The sole purpose of a college or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
is to ensure the proper theoretical and moral education to build the ideal citizens the country needs and this is the system which is
unquestionably
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
by the society.

In conclusion
, an educational institution for me is like a crucible, a furnace where minds are
Possible spelling mistake found.
moulded
with the fire of knowledge in other to adapt to the outside world. We may have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
reasons why we enter the colleges and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
one thing and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
one thing is for sure, the core reason why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
attend the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
and college is to increase knowledge.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some universities now offer their courses on the Internet so that people can study online Is this a positive or negative development v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
363 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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