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Some think that young people should be free to choose any career they like, while others say that they should think more realistically about their future. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some think that young people should be free to choose any career they like, while others say that they should think more realistically about their future. J9Ek
It is believed by some that teenagers should be let to decide their favorite career, however, others think that it is better if that their decision is considered more logically and not based on their dreams. From my personal standpoint, teenagers should take pieces of advice from older ones when choosing an appropriate job. Some people assume that others need to interface with young people's choices about their future. Firstly, it can be because of the teenagers' lack of knowledge. It is crystal clear that since younger individuals are still in schools, they have not still gained enough experience in their lives, which makes them visualize dreams that are unrealistic or too awkward to even happen. Therefore, they might go the wrong path in their lives if older people like their parents do not interface. For instance, my cousin used to always dream about becoming an actor while he had no abilities in acting and it was obvious that if he had chosen acting, he would have been unsuccessful. Fortunately, he was convinced about his situation logically by his parents and now he is studying computer science at MIT. However, younger ones should choose whatever career they want. The reason for this may be that people tend to work with more energy and love when they choose their dream job. This has also been proved by scientists by analyzing the results of two groups of people in a company that one of which had chosen his dream job and the other one had not. The results showed that the performance of the group that had picked their dream job was significantly more than the other group. In my opinion, everyone should use other people's suggestions on choosing the right career especially if they are young. I believe that since teenagers have not still gained enough knowledge about their surroundings, they can also be introduced to some new careers by older individuals so that they can take every possible job into account. In conclusion, although, people tend to work harder if they choose their dream career, some dream jobs that are considered by young individuals are too unrealistic and can be risky if attended.
It
is believed
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
to decide their favorite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
,
however
, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is better if that their decision
is considered
more
logically
and not based on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dreams
. From my personal standpoint,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
should take pieces of advice from older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
when choosing an appropriate job.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
assume that others need to interface with young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's choices about their future.
Firstly
, it can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
' lack of knowledge. It is crystal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that since younger individuals are
still
in schools, they have not
still
gained
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
experience in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them visualize
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dreams
that are unrealistic or too awkward to even happen.
Therefore
, they might go the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
path in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
if older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like their parents do not interface.
For instance
, my cousin
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to always
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dream
about becoming an actor while he had no abilities in acting and it was obvious that if he had chosen acting, he would have been unsuccessful.
Fortunately
, he
was convinced
about his situation
logically
by his parents and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
he is studying computer science at MIT.

However
, younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
should choose whatever
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
they want. The reason for this may be that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to work with more energy and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
when they choose their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dream
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. This has
also
been proved
by scientists by analyzing the results of two groups of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
that one of which had chosen his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dream
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
one had not. The results
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that the performance of the group that had picked their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dream
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
was
significantly
more than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
group.

In my opinion, everyone should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's suggestions on choosing the right
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
especially
if they are young. I believe that since
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
have not
still
gained
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
knowledge about their surroundings, they can
also
be introduced
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
careers
by older individuals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can take every possible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
into account.

In conclusion
, although,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to work harder if they choose their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dream
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dream
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
that
are considered
by young individuals are too unrealistic and can be risky if attended.
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IELTS essay Some think that young people should be free to choose any career they like, while others say that they should think more realistically about their future.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
363 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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