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People have long debated on whether or not students should be compelled to attend classes.

People have long debated on whether or not students should be compelled to attend classes. nY8K
People have long debated on whether or not students should be compelled to attend classes. In my opinion, class attendance should be optional for them. One of the reasons for that is the self-study ability of university students. The purpose of higher education is making students qualified enough to receive qualifications. If a student can self-study to pass all the required exams, he is qualified. With all the materials available on the Internet and library, a student can do so actually. Therefore, he doesn’t necessarily attend classes. In higher education, people should focus on the result rather than the process. Thus, the importance is not how they do everyday at classes but how they perform in the exams. In short, attending classes regularly shouldn’t be compulsory for students. In addition, students may spend time gaining experience since they are still at school. The competition in the job market is getting fiercer and fiercer. If students have only academic knowledge got from classes, they will definitely fail in the race for well-paid employments. On the contrary, with practical experience collected from part-time jobs and other work, students could get the upper hand in seeking good jobs. I still remember a girl of my brother’s university class who attended classes regularly, reading all the textbooks carefully. After graduating, she barely managed to find a modest job. Conversely, my brother, with practical skills and experience from his part-time jobs, easily gained a good position in a bank. After all, spending time wisely working during their time at university can facilitate graduates at their beginning in the career. Finally, students are already adults. As adults, they should hold responsibility for what they do. Students are no longer children for educators to force them sitting in classes obediently. If they find it unnecessary to go to classes, they could stay at home or do something else. Then if their academic achievements get worse, it is their fault. Generally, at university, students have to learn how to live independently and responsibly. Thus, they should be allowed to decide whether or not they attend classes regularly. All in all, as adults with responsibilities and challenges waiting for them in the future career, students ought to choose the way to study at university themselves. Hence, I agree class attendance should be optional for them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
have long debated on
Consider shortening this phrase to just "whether". It is correct though if you mean 'regardless of whether'.
whether or not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should
be compelled
to attend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
. In my opinion,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
attendance should be optional for them. One of the reasons for
that is
the self-study ability of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. The purpose of higher education is making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
qualified
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to receive qualifications. If a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
can self-study to pass all the required exams, he
is qualified
. With all the materials available on the Internet and library, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
can do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
actually.
Therefore
, he doesn’t
necessarily
attend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
. In higher education,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should focus on the result
rather
than the process.
Thus
, the importance is not how they do
'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean "every day"?
everyday
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
how they perform in the exams. In short, attending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
regularly
shouldn’t be compulsory for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
may spend time gaining experience since they are
still
at school. The competition in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
market is getting fiercer and fiercer. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
academic knowledge
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
, they will definitely fail in the race for well-paid employments.
On the contrary
, with practical experience collected from part-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
and other work,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the upper hand in seeking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
. I
still
remember a girl of my brother’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
who attended
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
regularly
, reading all the textbooks
carefully
. After graduating, she
barely
managed to find a modest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
Conversely
, my brother, with practical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and experience from his part-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
,
easily
gained a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
position in a bank.
After all
, spending time
wisely
working during their time at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
can facilitate graduates at their beginning in the career.
Finally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are already adults. As adults, they should hold responsibility for what they do.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
are no longer children for educators to force them sitting in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
obediently
. If they find it unnecessary to go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
, they could stay at home or do something else. Then if their academic achievements
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
worse, it is their fault.
Generally
, at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
learn how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
independently
and
responsibly
.
Thus
, they should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to decide
Consider shortening this phrase to just "whether". It is correct though if you mean 'regardless of whether'.
whether or not
they attend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
regularly
. All in all, as adults with responsibilities and challenges waiting for them in the future career,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
ought to choose the way to study at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
themselves.
Hence
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
attendance should be optional for them
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IELTS essay People have long debated on whether or not students should be compelled to attend classes.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
385 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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