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Some teenagers believe that personal values are decided by their outside appearance rather than their inside potentials. To what extent do you agree with this viewpoint?

Some teenagers believe that personal values are decided by their outside appearance rather than their inside potentials. m3JRr
Which factor takes precedence over others in the defining of an individual's values has been an ever-changing matter of concern. While some adolescents voice their opinions, emphasizing the decisive role of outer beauty, I side with those who appreciate the importance of inner capabilities in assessing personal values. There are good grounds for saying that abilities matter more when it comes to determining one’s individual quality. It is generally perceived that personal values consist of everything from physical outlooks, characteristics, talents to beliefs, etc. However, all the glamour and beauty on the outside are only the cover. A handsome footballer may not necessarily be the outstanding one. Likewise, a less attractive appearance does not make a footballer less successful in his career. That is to say personal values should be assessed using other factors, one of which being inner potentials. Supposing that we all depend on physical appearance, for example, skin color, to determine a person’s values. This has inadvertently created a breeding ground for discrimination, and on a macro level, racism towards certain ethnic groups that exist parallelly with our own. A case in point can be seen in America, where black people are frequently being denied a chair in big firms because of their skin color. How can anyone of us, only by looking at two people of two skin colors, tell who is superior? Would the black, whose forebears were being treated like slaves under the ruling of white colonizers for centuries, actually have less chance of success than their brighter skin color counterparts? Unlikely. There are numerous tales that feature famous figures who are black, Barack Obama, Michelle Obama, Oprah Winfrey, to name but a few. Therefore, judging people’s values based on their skin is by no means fair. Moreover, reality also proves that disabled people can still lead a life that contributes significantly to the well-being of our society, like Nick Vujic-an inspirational speaker and Stephan Hawking- a world famous theoretical physicist did. To sum up, the way a person looks cannot exactly determine who he or she is in this world. In conclusion, it is my conviction that personal core values should be assessed regarding inborn capabilities rather than physical appearance since judgments made based upon the latter may be eclipsed by some shortcomings.
Which
factor takes precedence over others in the defining of an individual's values has been an ever-changing matter of concern. While
some
adolescents voice their opinions, emphasizing the decisive role of outer beauty, I side with those
who
appreciate the importance of inner capabilities in assessing
personal
values.

There are
good
grounds for saying that abilities matter more when it
comes
to determining one’s individual quality. It is
generally
perceived that
personal
values consist of everything from physical outlooks, characteristics, talents to beliefs, etc.
However
, all the glamour and beauty on the outside are
only
the cover. A handsome footballer may not
necessarily
be the outstanding one.
Likewise
, a less attractive appearance does not
make
a footballer less successful in his career.
That is
to say
personal
values should
be assessed
using other factors, one of which being inner potentials.

Supposing that we all depend on physical appearance,
for example
,
skin
color
, to determine a person’s values. This has
inadvertently
created a breeding ground for discrimination, and on a macro level, racism towards certain ethnic groups that exist
parallelly
with our
own
. A case in point can be
seen
in America, where black
people
are
frequently
being denied
a chair in
big
firms
because
of their
skin
color
. How can anyone of us,
only
by looking at two
people
of two
skin
colors,
tell
who
is superior? Would the black, whose forebears were
being treated
like slaves under the ruling of white colonizers for centuries, actually have less chance of success than their brighter
skin
color
counterparts? Unlikely. There are numerous tales that feature
famous
figures
who
are black, Barack Obama, Michelle Obama, Oprah Winfrey, to name
but
a few.
Therefore
, judging
people’s
values based on their
skin
is by no means
fair
.
Moreover
, reality
also
proves that disabled
people
can
still
lead a life that contributes
significantly
to the well-being of our society, like Nick
Vujic-an
inspirational speaker and Stephan Hawking- a world
famous
theoretical physicist did. To sum up, the way a person looks cannot exactly determine
who
he or she is in this world.

In conclusion
, it is my conviction that
personal
core values should
be assessed
regarding inborn capabilities
rather
than physical appearance since judgments made based upon the latter may
be eclipsed
by
some
shortcomings.
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IELTS essay Some teenagers believe that personal values are decided by their outside appearance rather than their inside potentials.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
380 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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