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Children nowadays spend a great deal of time watching television. However, television cannot replace the book as a learning tool, which is why children are less well‐educated today. To what extent do you agree with this statement? v.22

Children nowadays spend a great deal of time watching television. However, television cannot replace the book as a learning tool, which is why children are less well‐educated today. v. 22
It is undeniable that spending time on television these days has risen among children. While this approach cannot be replaced by a book in terms of learning, I would argue that it may lead to some benefits for them up to a point. To begin with, one of the most crucial negatives that watching television can lead is that lack of concentration on courses among children. The reason behind this is that they consume a lot of time sitting on television which might be resulted in laziness and losing their control while learning. For instance, scientists announced that dangers behind long periods of watching television can lead to fatal risks which usually lead to suffer from mental health issues. In other words, a child who watches a television for five hours on daily basis will often lose their concentration in learning. Consequently, lower marks in learning achievement. However, the appropriate use of these devices may add to children’s knowledge. The reason behind this is that some learning programs on televisions might have tremendous benefits on a child. To illustrate, the vast majority of people believe that watching a learning program that includes cartoons and colorful backgrounds is usually beneficial for a child than the basic kind of learning. In contrast, if these children did not learn visually, they would not had achieved high marks. In conclusion, although sitting for longer periods of time watching television can lead to severe problems, I would say that right use of these advancements will lead to better attainments than the regular way of learning.
It is undeniable that spending time on
television
these days has risen among
children
. While this approach cannot
be replaced
by a book in terms of
learning
, I would argue that it may
lead
to
some
benefits for them up to a point.

To
begin
with, one of the most crucial negatives that watching
television
can
lead
is that lack of concentration on courses among
children
. The reason behind this is that they consume
a lot of
time sitting on
television
which might
be resulted
in laziness and losing their control while
learning
.
For instance
, scientists announced that
dangers
behind long periods of watching
television
can
lead
to fatal
risks
which
usually
lead
to suffer from mental health issues.
In other words
, a child who
watches
a
television
for five hours on daily basis will
often
lose their concentration in
learning
.
Consequently
, lower marks in
learning
achievement.

However
, the appropriate
use
of these devices may
add
to
children’s
knowledge. The reason behind this is that
some
learning
programs on
televisions
might have tremendous benefits on a child. To illustrate, the vast majority of
people
believe that watching a
learning
program that includes cartoons and colorful backgrounds is
usually
beneficial for a child than the basic kind of
learning
.
In contrast
, if these
children
did not learn
visually
, they would not
had
achieved high marks.

In conclusion
, although sitting for longer periods of time watching
television
can
lead
to severe problems, I would say that right
use
of these advancements will
lead
to better attainments than the regular way of
learning
.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Children nowadays spend a great deal of time watching television. However, television cannot replace the book as a learning tool, which is why children are less well‐educated today. v. 22

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
260 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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