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Some teachers let students choose topics that interest them on research papers. Others assign topics on research papers. Which one do you prefer? v.1

Some teachers let students choose topics that interest them on research papers. Others assign topics on research papers. Which one do you prefer? v. 1
For centuries there a plethora of ways have been trying to reduce crime rates. However, some believe that increasing prison sentence might reduce the number of crimes committed while others opine that there are alternate ways of tackling it. I support the latter as increasing sentence might have an adverse effect and working on factors leading to crimes seems imperative. To begin with, the more time a prisoner spends in prison, the more he or she is unlikely to be rehabilitated or adapt to the society outside. To cite an example, in a recent research study on Tihar jail in India, it was found that the prisoners who spent less than 2 years in jail did not commit another crime after getting out while the ones who had spent more than 10 years in the first term were back in jail. The second timers had forgotten or lost touch of living in a civilised society. Hence, spending more jail time has proven to have an adverse on crime rates. In addition, facing the reasons why people commit crimes is more important than keeping the criminals away from society. To cite an example, in a documentary on poverty in India people in rural areas said they had to opt for scamming and stealing as they had no financial or any kind of support from the government. This begs the question is that if we would have been in their shoes, wouldn't we have also done the same? Therefore, tackling the reason why people commit crimes can be more effective in mitigating crime. In summary, longer prison sentence might in fact increase the frequency of crimes and working towards the root cause where people are forced to commit a crime could be more efficient. In conclusion, I do not agree with the fact that stretching the sentence period is the best way to reduce crime.
For centuries there a plethora of ways have been trying to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rates.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
believe that increasing prison
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sentence
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
committed while others opine that there are alternate ways of tackling it. I support the latter as increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sentence
might have an adverse effect and working on factors leading to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
seems imperative.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the more time a prisoner spends in prison, the more he or she is unlikely to
be rehabilitated
or adapt to the society outside. To cite an example, in a recent research study on
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tihar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jail
in India, it
was found
that the prisoners who spent less than 2 years in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jail
did not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
commit
another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
after getting out while the ones who had spent more than 10 years in the
first
term were back in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jail
. The second timers had forgotten or lost touch of living in a
Possible spelling mistake. 'civilised' is British English.
civilised
society.
Hence
, spending more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jail
time has proven to have an adverse on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rates.

In addition
, facing the reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
commit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than keeping the criminals away from society. To cite an example, in a documentary on poverty in India
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in rural areas said they had to opt for scamming and stealing as they had no financial or any kind of support from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
. This begs the question is that if we
Did you mean "had been"?
would have been
in their shoes, wouldn't we have
also
done the same?
Therefore
, tackling the reason why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
commit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
can be more effective in mitigating crime.

In summary, longer prison
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sentence
might in fact increase the frequency of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
and working towards the root cause where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are forced
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
commit
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
could be more efficient.
In conclusion
, I do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the fact that stretching the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sentence
period is the best way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some teachers let students choose topics that interest them on research papers. Others assign topics on research papers. Which one do you prefer? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
313 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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