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some suggest that people should take a job for a few years between school and university

some suggest that people should take a job for a few years between school and university Ymb0r
Some people recommend that young people should work after leaving school until they enter university. There are two main advantages of working between school and university. The one is that people can gather information about sectors by practising that they want to study in if they work on their interest. Because people can remember something easily by doing it instead of reading or listening about it. The another advantage is that people can earn money for their studies if they have a problem with lack of money. This is useful not only for these people but also for their families. I know such a person who is really famous and he had to work when he left his school. However he worked hard, earned money and entered university. After that because of having a lot of experience he achieved success quickly. On the other hand, there are some cons of working before studying at university. The main one is that lack of information. People who did not study at university might not know about some rules of work that are related to science. For example, they may not be informed about calculating system, mechanism of some devices. So they have difficulty in adapting to work place or they might not work a lot in their work place because of lacking knowledge. Also, one more problem can appear as a result of this. This problem is related to salary. If people do not know about these rules, they can get less salary and getting this money they waste their a lot of time. Because if they study at university and they can find well-paid job easily. All in all, I think the disadvantages of working between school and university are greater then the advantages. However, someone who try a lot and work hard can achieve success without studying at university and for this people I advise to work between school and university
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
recommend that young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
after leaving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
until they enter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
. There are two main advantages of working between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
. The one is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can gather information about sectors by
Possible spelling mistake. 'practising' is British English.
practising
that they want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
in if they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
on their interest.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can remember something
easily
by doing it
instead
of reading or listening about it. The another advantage is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can earn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
if they have a problem with lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. This is useful not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
for their families. I know such a person who is
really
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
famous and
he had to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
when he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
he worked
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
, earned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and entered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
.
“After” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
After
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of experience he achieved success
quickly
.
On the other hand
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cons of working
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
studying at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
. The main one is that lack of information.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
who did not
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study
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
might not know about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
that
are related
to science.
For example
, they may not
be informed
about calculating system, mechanism of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
devices.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
they have difficulty in adapting to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
place or
they might not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
place
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of lacking knowledge.
Also
, one more problem can appear
as a result
of this. This problem
is related
to salary. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not know about these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
less salary and getting this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
they waste
Did you mean "there"?
their
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of time.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
if they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
at
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
university and
they can find well-paid job
easily
. All in all, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the disadvantages of working between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
are
Did you mean "greater than"?
greater then
the advantages.
However
, someone who try a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
can achieve success without studying at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
and for this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
I advise to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
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IELTS essay some suggest that people should take a job for a few years between school and university

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
320 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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