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some poeple think that the government should knock down old buildings and make way for new buildings. Do you agree or disagree?

some poeple think that the government should knock down old buildings and make way for new buildings. qQxAa
In times of ultra-modern luxury and sophisticated architecture, many exponents postulate that old buildings should be destroyed and new once should be constructed, whereas, others posit that old buildings should be retained. I agree with first part of the mandate. This disquisition delves into the reasoning with relevant examples in support of my opinion. Old architecture is not just about the walls standing tall but also about the history and heritage, which can neither be rebuilt nor can be recreated, however, in modern era we tend to forget about the same and strive for comfort. Firstly, destroying old monuments will not only be time consuming but also an investment worth millions, which will block resources and funds worth millions, which can instead be utilized for better cause, such as, development of essential infrastructure like shelter home and hospitals. As per the archeological department of India, cost of demolishing old fort of Jodhpur was 10 crores and the work went on for more than 10 days in order to clear the land. Furthermore, these buildings often reflect the history associated with the place and state-of-art sculptures depicts culture and heritage of the kingdom, destroying which will tantamount to vandalization of history, for instance, Devi fort of Indore is truly an ornate beauty projecting life and culture of Holkar dynasty. On the contrary, if we have to replan or expand the city, these buildings might come in way of construction or expansion, as the location at the time when it was built, might not be well thought off. Moreover, maintenance at times might be much higher as compared to demolishing them. In such cases, it is more effective to destroy these buildings. To conclude, notwithstanding the fact that maintaining old places can be an expensive affair and at times might come in way of development, however, it holds history and culture, which if demolished can never be brought back, therefore, it should be our endeavour to preserve the same.
In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
of ultra-modern luxury and sophisticated architecture,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
exponents postulate that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
and new once should
be constructed
, whereas, others posit that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
should
be retained
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with
first
part of the mandate. This disquisition delves into the reasoning with relevant examples in support of my opinion.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Old
architecture is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
about the walls standing tall
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
and heritage, which can neither be rebuilt nor can
be recreated
,
however
, in modern era we tend to forget about the same and strive for comfort.
Firstly
, destroying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
monuments will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
time consuming
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
an investment worth millions, which will block resources and funds worth millions, which can
instead
be utilized
for better cause, such as, development of essential infrastructure like shelter home and hospitals. As per the archeological department of India, cost of demolishing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
fort of Jodhpur was 10 crores and the work went on for more than 10 days in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
the land.
Furthermore
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
reflect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
associated with the place and state-of-art sculptures depicts culture and heritage of the kingdom, destroying which will tantamount to vandalization of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
,
for instance
, Devi fort of Indore is
truly
an ornate beauty projecting life and culture of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Holkar
dynasty.

On the contrary
, if we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
replan or expand the city, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
in way of construction or expansion, as the location at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
when it
was built
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
not be well
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
Did you mean "of"?
off
.
Moreover
, maintenance at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be much higher
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
as
compared to demolishing them. In such cases, it is more effective to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
these buildings.

To conclude
, notwithstanding the fact that maintaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
places can be an expensive affair and at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
in way of development,
however
, it holds
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
and culture, which
Did you mean "is"?
if
demolished can never
be brought
back,
therefore
, it should be our
Possible spelling mistake. 'endeavour' is British English.
endeavour
to preserve the same.

IELTS essay some poeple think that the government should knock down old buildings and make way for new buildings.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
327 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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