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Some students prefer to talk to teachers face-to-face; some students prefer to communicate with teachers by email. Which do you prefer? v.1

Some students prefer to talk to teachers face-to-face; some students prefer to communicate with teachers by email. Which do you prefer? v. 1
There is no doubt that modern technology is reshaping our planet and affecting every aspect of human lives. While some people argue that technological advancements have widened the gap between the wealthy and the poor, I believe that certain technologies are available to all people in the society and make contributions to bridging the wealth gap. On the one hand, there are several reasons for the increase in wealth inequality. One reason is automation. Drive by technology and automation reduces the need of manual labour. This results in less work opportunities are available for unskilled. Furthermore, in term of medical neo –tech, advanced treatments and medicines are developed to cure diseases; this caused healthcare to be more expensive, causing inaccessibility to the poor. People resort to traditional methods without a guarantee of improvement. For example, poor people are suffering from chronic illnesses such as cancer or asthma may die without receiving medical care. On the other hand, certain technological innovations play an integral role in filling the gap between the rich and the poor. Firstly, some technological advancements are accessible to all people among different social classes due to their availability at cheaper rate. The Internet, for example, is available to almost all section of the society. Secondly, modern technologies have provided great opportunities for the poor to get rich. For instance, the Internet has already made many people become wealthy by setting their own commercial websites. Compared with traditional industries, which require a large initial investment and higher operation cost, the Internet is a much better and cheaper platform to make a fortune for people from all social backgrounds. In conclusion, although some claim that modern technology heightens the gap between the rich and the poor, I strongly believe that it could narrow the difference between social classes
There is no doubt that modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is reshaping our planet and affecting every aspect of human
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that technological advancements have widened the gap between the wealthy and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
, I believe that certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
are available to all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the society and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
contributions to bridging the wealth gap.

On the one hand, there are several reasons for the increase in wealth inequality. One reason is automation. Drive by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
and automation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
the need of manual
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
. This results in less work opportunities are available for unskilled.
Furthermore
, in term of medical
Possible spelling mistake found.
neo
–tech, advanced treatments and medicines
are developed
to cure diseases; this caused healthcare to be more expensive, causing inaccessibility to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
resort to traditional methods without a guarantee of improvement.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are suffering from chronic illnesses such as cancer or asthma may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
without receiving medical care.

On the other hand
, certain technological innovations play an integral role in filling the gap between the rich and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
.
Firstly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
technological advancements are accessible to all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
among
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
social classes due to their availability at cheaper rate. The Internet,
for example
, is available to almost all section of the society.
Secondly
, modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
have provided great opportunities for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
rich.
For instance
, the Internet has already made
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
become wealthy by setting their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
commercial websites. Compared with traditional industries, which require a large initial investment and higher operation cost, the Internet is a much better and cheaper platform to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a fortune for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from all social backgrounds.

In conclusion
, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
claim that modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
heightens the gap between the rich and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
, I
strongly
believe that it could narrow the difference between social classes
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
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Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay Some students prefer to talk to teachers face-to-face; some students prefer to communicate with teachers by email. Which do you prefer? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
298 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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