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Some students participate in school activities such as clubs and sports. Other students don’t take part in such activities because they spend more time on their studies. Tell why you think the two groups of spend their time differently? Which type of student do you prefer to be? Explain why?

Some students participate in school activities such as clubs and sports. Other students don’t take part in such activities because they spend more time on their studies. Tell why you think the two groups of spend their time differently? Which type of student do you prefer to be? Explain why? 1Vl3L
All the students are different from each other and all of them spend their time differently. Of course, some people like to spend their time on school activities and others spend their time on their studies, all this is individual and of course both of them have benefits and drawbacks and I will try to examine below my specific reasons for that. First of all, I want to say that participating in school activities are very important for student’s social skills improvement. They learn not only about specific sports also about leadership and about soft skills, which are very important for their future. Of course, spending time on their studies are very important for their future career, because without working hard and studying hard there is no success. Studying is more theorical part of their lives and sport activities and clubs are more practical part of students’ lives. Both of them are very necessary in especially students’ lives. On the other hand, I think that spending time only on sport activities and clubs isn’t good, like I said there should be a balance in everything. Spending time on studies is very important because if a person spends his/her time only on school activities he/she won’t have time to spend his/her studies and without studying it will be hard to become successful. Also, it’s the same when you spend your whole time on your studies because only theorical part of your life won’t help you to become successful. Education of course plays a big role in students lives but interaction with people and participating in extracurricular school activities are also very important. In my opinion both of them are very important in our lives because we learn different things from both of them. Nowadays because of pandemic students spend more time on their studies rather than on school activities so I think it would be better to spend more time on school activities during these times. Summarizing said above I want to admit that both of them spending time on studies and spending time on school activities plays a big role for our future. Both of them has pros and cons and everyone is individual and everyone thinks in a different way but in my opinion during these times it would be much better for students to spend their time on school activities because of pandemic.
All the
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students
are
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different
from each other and all of them
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spend
their
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time
differently
. Of
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course
,
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some
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people
like to
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spend
their
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time
on
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school
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activities
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and others
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spend
their
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time
on their
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studies
, all this is individual and of
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course
both of them have benefits and drawbacks and I will try to examine below my specific reasons for that.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, I want to say that participating in
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school
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activities
are
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very
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important
for
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student’s
social
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skills
improvement. They learn not
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only
about specific sports
also
about leadership and about soft
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skills
, which are
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very
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important
for their future. Of
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course
,
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spending
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time
on their
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studies
are
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very
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important
for their future career,
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because
without working
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hard
and studying
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hard
there is no success. Studying is more
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theorical
part of their
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lives
and sport
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activities
and clubs are more practical part of
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students’
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lives
. Both of them are
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very
necessary in
especially
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students’
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lives
.

On the other hand
, I
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think
that
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spending
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time
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only
on sport
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activities
and clubs isn’t
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good
, like I said there should be a balance in everything.
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Spending
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time
on
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studies
is
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very
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important
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because
if a person
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spends
his/her
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time
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only
on
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school
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activities
he/she won’t have
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time
to
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spend
his/her
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studies
and without studying it will be
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hard
to become successful.
Also
, it’s the same when you
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spend
your whole
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time
on your
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studies
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because
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only
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theorical
part of your life won’t
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help
you to become successful. Education of
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course
plays a
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big
role in
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students
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lives
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but
interaction with
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people
and participating in extracurricular
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school
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activities
are
also
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very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.

In my opinion both of them are
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very
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important
in our
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lives
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because
we learn
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different
things from both of them. Nowadays
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because
of pandemic
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students
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spend
more
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time
on their
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studies
rather
than on
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school
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activities
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so
I
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think
it would be better to
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spend
more
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time
on
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school
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activities
during these times.

Summarizing said above I want to admit that both of them
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spending
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time
on
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studies
and
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spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on
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school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
plays a
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big
role for our future. Both of them
Please check whether 'Both of them' should be followed by a plural form: "have", "haven"
has
pros and cons and everyone is individual and everyone
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thinks
in a
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different
way
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but
in my opinion during these
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times
it would be much better for
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students
to
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spend
their
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time
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of pandemic.

IELTS essay Some students participate in school activities such as clubs and sports. Other students don’t take part in such activities because they spend more time on their studies. Tell why you think the two groups of spend their time differently? Which type of student do you prefer to be? Explain why?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
395 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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  • Some students participate in school activities such as clubs and sports. Other students don’t take part in such activities because they spend more time on their studies. Tell why you think the two groups of spend their time differently? Which type of student do you prefer to be? Explain why?