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Some sports are extremely dangerous but many people still like them very much. Why do people take part in dangerous sports? Give some suggestions on how to deal with these dangers.

Some sports are extremely dangerous but many people still like them very much. Why do people take part in dangerous sports? Give some suggestions on how to deal with these dangers. Jn95
In this contemporary era, we have seen a considerable rise in fatal or sports which can put one's life in jeopardy. Despite knowing the menace entailed into it, yet people have great inclination towards it. There are numerous reasons behind this bias. in this essay we will see why people engage in such sports and suggest some ways to reduce risks which are involved into it. First and foremost, one of the main root cause is they want to challenge their caliber and potential. They like to take risks. Moreover, Such sports helps to get thrill out of them. On the top of that, they feel zealous when they come face to face with their fears while doing bungee jumping, parasailing and such like. Going through it gives them courage and confidence to face daily life hurdles. There are lot of fame and money entailed with these sports and it could be another reason for pursuing extreme sports. They get attention of people while presenting stunts on motorcycles and jumping from tall building. They may make headlines in news papers and tv channels. They feel great when their name comes in Guinness book of world record. Many businesses hire them to endorse their products they can also earn money from it. To avoid hazards, there are multifarious ways. Firstly, precautions must be taken before plunging into it. Secondly, They must undergo proper training and it is advisable to do these activities under strict supervision. What's more, They should follow prerequisite necessary instructions of activities. To put in a nutshell, it is fact that people do such activities to test their limitations. It gives money fame and encouragement. However, The risks involved into it can be reduced by taking training and precautions.
In this contemporary era, we have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
a considerable rise in fatal or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
which can put one's life in jeopardy. Despite knowing the menace entailed into it,
yet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have great inclination towards it. There are numerous reasons behind this bias.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
this essay we will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
engage in such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and suggest
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
ways to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
which
are involved
into it.

First
and foremost, one of the main root cause is they want to challenge their caliber and potential. They like to take
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
.
Moreover
, Such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
thrill out of them. On the top of that, they feel zealous when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
face to face with their fears while doing bungee jumping, parasailing and such like. Going through it gives them courage and confidence to face daily life hurdles.

There are
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
fame and money entailed with these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and it could be another reason for pursuing extreme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
attention of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
while presenting stunts on motorcycles and jumping from tall building. They may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
headlines in
This word is normally spelled as one.
news papers
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
channels.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
They
feel great when their name
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
in Guinness book of world record.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
businesses hire them to endorse their products they can
also
earn money from it.

To avoid hazards, there are multifarious ways.
Firstly
, precautions
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be taken
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
plunging into it.
Secondly
, They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
undergo proper training and it is advisable to do these activities under strict supervision. What's more, They should follow prerequisite necessary instructions of activities.

To put in a nutshell, it is fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do such activities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
their limitations. It gives money fame and encouragement.
However
, The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
involved into it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
by taking training and precautions.
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IELTS essay Some sports are extremely dangerous but many people still like them very much. Why do people take part in dangerous sports? Give some suggestions on how to deal with these dangers.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
291 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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