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Social media is becoming increasingly popular amongst all age groups. However, sharing personal information on social media websites does have risks. Do you think that the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages?

Social media is becoming increasingly popular amongst all age groups. However, sharing personal information on social media websites does have risks. Do you think that the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages? M1eN
There is an argument that people in different ages are commonly using social media recently. On the contrary, discussing information about themselves, people would encounter some risks. This essay will argue that drawbacks of sharing personal information on social media outweigh the benefits, even though one can learn relevant daily news from social medias, giving information on significant details on this websites can create a life threatening issues and people may face financial problems. The primary reason why social media is not supposed to be used to share important things is people might have some issues to do with their life. Simply put, as there are many people are using these websites with fake identities they can somehow steal your ID info or family info and then may use it to take advantage of you. Even if, it can end up threatening you or family with the rumor that as if you do not give what they want they may kill all the members of your family. Furthermore, you can get robbed throughout the debit or credit cards. Nowadays, many things are advertised on social media and while you go through this things chances are you will buy something. Consequently, that might be the people who are willing to steal money that have posted it. Once you clicked and put through your card info they will be able to get all the money you have. Opponents believe social media is very good place to get informed about everything happening around us. In order to get the vital info you want you have to go to many websites to search. However, everything is just one click away on social media. All things considered, despite the fact that getting updated on a lot of things on social media might be true, however, life threatening issues and financial frauds outweigh the advantages.
There is an argument that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ages are
commonly
using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
recently.
On the contrary
, discussing information about themselves,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would encounter
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
. This essay will argue that drawbacks of sharing personal information on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
outweigh the benefits,
even though
one can learn relevant daily news from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medias
, giving information on significant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
on
Did you mean "these"?
this
websites can create a life threatening issues and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may face financial problems.

The primary reason why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is not supposed to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to share
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
things is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
might have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
issues to do with their life.
Simply
put, as there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are using these websites with fake identities they can somehow steal your ID
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
info
or family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
info
and then may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it to take advantage of you. Even if, it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up threatening you or family with the rumor that as if you do not give what they want they may kill all the members of your family.

Furthermore
, you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
robbed throughout the debit or credit cards. Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things
are advertised
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
and while you go through
Did you mean "these"?
this
things chances are you will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
something.
Consequently
, that might be the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are willing to steal money that have posted it. Once you clicked and put through your card
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
info
they will be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
all the money you have.

Opponents believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
place to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
informed about everything happening around us. In order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the vital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
info
you want you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
go to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
websites to search.
However
, everything is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
one click away on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media.

All things considered, despite the fact that getting updated on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
things on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
might be true,
however
, life threatening issues and financial frauds outweigh the advantages.
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IELTS essay Social media is becoming increasingly popular amongst all age groups. However, sharing personal information on social media websites does have risks. Do you think that the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
309 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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