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Many working people get little or no exercise during the work day, and have health problems as a result. -Why do so many people not get enough exercise? What can be done about this problem? -Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Many working people get little or no exercise during the work day, and have health problems as a result. -Why do so many people not get enough exercise? What can be done about this problem? - R1eG
No doubt people are doing hard work to survive in modern era but almost individual busy in thier working schedule and they have not huge time to do workout. It leads to numerous of diseases. Nevertheless, I will explicate consequence and obstacles of this, in next paragraphs. Generally, some people have sitting jobs. Those jobs are not required much body moments due to diseases born into human body. For example, in case of carpenter and plumber job there are many physical experience which help to sweating but banking and other sitting jobs have not much experience. Additionally, according to world health organization 69% people faced diseases owing to less work out. Moreover, employees faced a lot of pain elder age such as back pain and less strength to walk. Furthermore, some people have serious diseases such as cancer, heart attack and asthma. To instead, India's famous scientist says' in a report that almost 56% judge's have heart attack problem. However, regarding me there are plethora of areas which have not play grounds, gye and parks as well as lack of space because of this, they do not get chance to do much excersize in their house, out side the house as well. In conclusion, there are many reasons and problems why people do not much excersize and some jobs and lack of space dont allow to people to do work out in home and out side.
No doubt
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are doing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work to survive in modern era
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
almost individual busy in
Possible spelling mistake found.
thier
working
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
schedule and
they have not huge time to do workout. It leads to numerous of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
.
Nevertheless
, I will explicate consequence and obstacles of this, in
next
paragraphs.

Generally
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have sitting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
. Those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
are not required
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
body moments due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
born into human body.
For example
, in case of carpenter and plumber
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
there are
Possible agreement error. The noun experience seems to be uncountable; consider using: "much physical experience", "a good deal of physical experience".
many physical experience
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to sweating
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
banking and other sitting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
have not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: "experienced".
experience
.
Additionally
, according to
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
world health organization
69%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
faced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
owing to less work out.

Moreover
, employees faced
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
pain elder age such as back pain and less strength to walk.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
such as cancer, heart attack and asthma. To
instead
, India's
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
scientist says' in a report that almost 56% judge's have heart attack problem.

However
, regarding me there are plethora of areas which have not
Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: "played".
play
grounds,
Possible spelling mistake found.
gye
and parks
as well
as lack of space
because of this
, they do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
chance to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
Possible spelling mistake found.
excersize
in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
,
Did you mean "outside"?
out side
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
as well
.

In conclusion
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons and problems why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
Possible spelling mistake found.
excersize
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
and lack of space
Possible spelling mistake found
dont
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to do work out in home and
Did you mean "outside"?
out side
.
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IELTS essay Many working people get little or no exercise during the work day, and have health problems as a result. -Why do so many people not get enough exercise? What can be done about this problem? -

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
236 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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  • Many working people get little or no exercise during the work day, and have health problems as a result. -Why do so many people not get enough exercise? What can be done about this problem? -Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.