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Some sports are extremely dangerous but many people still like them very much. Why do people take part in dangerous sports? Give some suggestions on how to deal with these dangers.

Some sports are extremely dangerous but many people still like them very much. Why do people take part in dangerous sports? Give some suggestions on how to deal with these dangers. BExX
It is often observed that extreme sports have been playing by people. Although some sports are highly challenging, then also a few individuals love to do it. While there are various reasons of taking part in it by people, also I will provide some measure to deal with these dangers. There are ample of reasons behind why people indulge in extreme sports. The first and foremost, majority people have passion about doing some extraordinary once in their life. So, people opt for events. In other words, in order to fulfill their desires they perform dangerous sports activities. Another reason would be about earning some extra income. To exemplify, although some afraid of these dangerous games, they take part in it owning to earn money. Most of the time when these types of events organised anywhere, rewards always higher. For instance, many people became wealthy after just took part in one competition of extreme sports. Thus, individuals choose these because earn wealth and others have passion about it. Moreover, the appropriate solutions to handle these danger sports by prior training give to participants. This is to say that, before taking part in these events, once supposed to take complete training. In this way, they get some ideas about it and then it would become easy to perform. Furthermore, another considerable measure could be having safety equipment. Performers ought to wear proper suits and have safety resources. As a result, they not only reduce the risk of games, but also increase the proficiency of play. For example, some sport clubs give prior training with proper dress, and then they allow to take part in. This way chances of winning the game get twofold. Hence, to alleviate the dangers proper training and equipment needed to use. In conclusion, playing highly adventures sports now day passion for people and other is to earn side income, but this only supposed to perform after full training and wear safety tools too.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
observed that extreme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
have been playing by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are
highly
challenging, then
also
a few individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to do it.

While there are various reasons of taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
in it by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
also
I will provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
measure to deal with these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
.

There are ample of reasons behind why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
indulge in extreme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. The
first
and foremost, majority
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have passion about doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extraordinary once in their life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
opt for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
.
In other words
, in order to fulfill their desires they perform
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
activities. Another reason would be about earning
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extra income. To exemplify, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
afraid of these
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
games, they take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
in it owning to earn money. Most of the time when these types of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
Possible spelling mistake. 'organised' is British English.
organised
anywhere, rewards always higher.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
became wealthy after
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
took
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
in one competition of extreme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
.
Thus
, individuals choose these
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
earn wealth
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
have passion about it.

Moreover
, the appropriate solutions to handle these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
by prior
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
give to participants. This is to say that,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
in these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
, once supposed to take complete
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
. In this way, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
about it and then it would become easy to perform.
Furthermore
, another considerable measure could be having safety equipment. Performers ought to wear proper suits and have safety resources.
As a result
, they not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of games,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
increase the proficiency of play.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
clubs give prior
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
with proper dress, and then they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
Did you mean "taking"? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'allow' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
in. This way chances of winning the game
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
twofold.
Hence
, to alleviate the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
and equipment needed to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
.

In conclusion
, playing
highly
adventures
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
day passion for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and other is to earn side income,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
supposed to perform after full
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
and wear safety tools too.

IELTS essay Some sports are extremely dangerous but many people still like them very much. Why do people take part in dangerous sports? Give some suggestions on how to deal with these dangers.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
325 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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