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Children who are brought up in families that do not have large amounts of money are better prepared to deal with the problems of adult life than children brought up by wealthy parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion ?

Children who are brought up in families that do not have large amounts of money are better prepared to deal with the problems of adult life than children brought up by wealthy parents. with this opinion? kABK
Children who have poverty childhood are trend to be able to manage troubles when they grow up whereas the others who experience wealthy upbringing are unable to. As a person’s ability to do something is related to hands-on experiences, I do agree the statement. Children who come across family’s financial predicament will learn how to survive in low income situations. Even in the critical times they will accommodate and get the essential needs than what they really want, while other children at their age are having everything they wish, to reduce expenses. Some might work part-time jobs, for instance, working as a newspaper boy, in order to support their families. This may lead these children to live and handle difficulties like adults from a very early age. Moreover, they will face the ‘realistic’ side of the world and are being taught necessary skills that will required in life. While struggling to help their families out, they’ll also experience adult society which is hazardous for their age. This means that they have to work really hard and deal with inconveniences more than the numbers of their age. Despite having an indigent life, they will comprehend that persistence is very significant and be able to stand on their own feet sooner or later. Furthermore, even if unprecedented things happen in their lives, they won’t attempt to rely on others but try to manage their matters. In summing up, children from indigent families can see how it’s difficult just to put foods on table which make them understand the real value of properties. After learning about life from their jobs or environments, they are more likely to be able to prepare for adulthood and endure the hardships more than anyone else.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
who have poverty childhood are trend to be able to manage troubles when they grow up whereas the others who experience wealthy upbringing are unable to. As a person’s ability to do something
is related
to hands-on experiences, I do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
the statement.

Children who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
across
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family’s
financial predicament will learn how to survive in low income situations. Even in the critical times they will accommodate and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the essential needs than what they
really
want, while other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
at their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
are having everything they wish, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
expenses.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
might work part-time jobs,
for instance
, working as a newspaper boy, in order to support their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
. This may lead these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
and handle difficulties like adults from a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
.
Moreover
, they will face the ‘realistic’ side of the world and are
being taught
necessary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
that will required in life.

While struggling to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
out, they’ll
also
experience adult society which is hazardous for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
. This means that they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
work
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
and deal with inconveniences more than the numbers of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
. Despite having an indigent life, they will comprehend that persistence is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
significant and be able to stand on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
feet sooner or later.
Furthermore
, even if unprecedented things happen in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, they won’t attempt to rely on others
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
try to manage their matters.

In summing up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
from indigent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
how it’s difficult
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to put foods on table which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them understand the real value of properties. After learning about life from their jobs or environments, they are more likely to be able to prepare for adulthood and endure the hardships more than anyone else.

IELTS essay Children who are brought up in families that do not have large amounts of money are better prepared to deal with the problems of adult life than children brought up by wealthy parents. with this opinion?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
288 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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