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Despite huge improvements in healthcare, the overall standard of physical health in many developed countries is now falling. What could be the reason for this trend, and what can be done to reverse it?

Despite huge improvements in healthcare, the overall standard of physical health in many developed countries is now falling. What could be the reason for this trend, and what can be done to reverse it? qBGa
Health is a source for everydays life. Though there are huge development in healthcare, people are facing issues with their health even in developed countries. In this essay I will explain the various reasons behind this and provide few suggestions to alleviate this issue. To begin with, there are many reasons why the population is facing poor physical health. Firstly, even people are aware of detrimental effects of an unhealthy diet. It is a pity that they still follows it. For instance, people are busy with their lives nowadays that leaves us very little time to cook or clean. So they are compelled to eat packed food or fast food which eventually takes a toll on their health. Secondly, the majority of people are not taking regular health checkup because of not having enough money to spend whereas others are not simply interested in taking this. In addition, the population shows more interest in having fun rather than doing regular physical exercise. Many doctors advised their patients to exercise at least thrice a week who complained of health issues. An example of this, in a recent survey taken in the University of Houston that the youngsters who complained of obesity and heart problems are not doing any physical exercise in the last 6 months. There are few things which can be done to remedy this issue to certain extent, To say, the government or NGOs should set up an awareness programs. The government should force elderly people to take regular checkups periodically. Parents should regularly monitor their offsprings health. In my opinion, both the government as well as individuals to take care of our health.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Health
is a source for
Possible spelling mistake found.
everydays
life. Though there are huge development in healthcare,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are facing issues with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
even in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
. In this essay I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
the various reasons behind this and provide few suggestions to alleviate this issue.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons why the population is facing poor physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
Firstly
, even
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are aware of detrimental effects of an unhealthy diet. It is a pity that they
still
The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "follow"
follows
it.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are busy with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
nowadays that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leaves
us
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
time to cook or clean.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
they
are compelled
to eat packed food or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
food which
eventually
takes a toll on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
Secondly
, the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not taking regular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
checkup
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of not having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
money to spend whereas others are not
simply
interested in taking this.
In addition
, the population
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
more interest in having fun
rather
than doing regular physical exercise.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
doctors advised their patients to exercise at least thrice a week who complained of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
issues. An example of this, in a recent survey taken in the University of Houston that the youngsters who complained of obesity and heart problems are not doing any physical exercise in the last 6 months.

There are few things which can
be done
to remedy this issue to certain extent, To say, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
or NGOs should set up an awareness programs. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should force elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to take regular checkups
periodically
. Parents should
regularly
monitor their
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "offspring", the plural form of the noun 'offspring'?
offsprings
health.

In my opinion, both the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
Probable usage error. Use "and" after 'both'.
as well as
individuals to take care of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
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IELTS essay Despite huge improvements in healthcare, the overall standard of physical health in many developed countries is now falling. What could be the reason for this trend, and what can be done to reverse it?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
275 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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