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Some some people say that feeling of competition should we motivate their children while others say is that individual should be taught their children to become cooperative what is your opinion

Some some people say that feeling of competition should we motivate their children while others say is that individual should be taught their children to become cooperative what is your opinion wOBMN
It is undeniably true that competition are growing day by day. It is generally considered by some that the feeling of competition ought to be motivate in adolescent, while other claim that individual should be taught their children to become a co-operative this essay will discuss the emotion of competition that will be illustrate in upcoming paragraph. To embark with, Why the feeling of competition should be motivate in Juvenile and the first and foremost one is that, increase knowledge. To be more precise, people encourage their children to take participate in competition. owing to this they increase your confidence and give better performance in the competition. For example if children participate in cricket match they give best perform and won prize in this games. due to this, they will increase their confidence and take participate in international level. On the Flipside, people should be taught to become cooperative. To be illustrated if children do work in team they share their ideas with each other and they help everyone in their work through this they do not burden on only person. As a result it will help to become cooperative. To conclude, although I think the feeling of competition should be motivated in the juvenile is the best way because it will help to increase their knowledge. people participate in competition to enhance their knowledge about the competition.
It is
undeniably
true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
are growing day by day. It is
generally
considered by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that the feeling of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
ought to be
Consider using a past participle here: "motivated".
motivate
in adolescent, while other claim that individual should
be taught
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to become a co-operative this essay will discuss the emotion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
that will be
Consider using the past participle "illustrated"?
illustrate
in upcoming paragraph. To embark with, Why the feeling of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
should be
Consider using the past participle "motivated"?
motivate
in Juvenile and the
first
and foremost one is that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
knowledge. To be more precise,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
encourage


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
participate
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
owing
to this they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
your confidence and give better performance in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
.
For example
if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
participate
in cricket match they give best perform and won prize in
Did you mean "these"?
this
games.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
due
to this, they will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
their confidence and take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
participate
in international level.

On the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Flipside
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should
be taught
to become cooperative. To
be illustrated
if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
do work in team they share their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
with each
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
other and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
everyone in their work through this they do not burden on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
person.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
a result it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to become cooperative.
To conclude
, although I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the feeling of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
should
be motivated
in the juvenile is the best way
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
their knowledge.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
participate
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
to enhance their knowledge about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
.
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IELTS essay Some some people say that feeling of competition should we motivate their children while others say is that individual should be taught their children to become cooperative what is your opinion

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
228 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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