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Some scientists think that there are intelligent life forms on other planets and message should be sent out to contact them. Others think that it is a bad idea and would be dangerous. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.2

Some scientists think that there are intelligent life forms on other planets and message should be sent out to contact them. Others think that it is a bad idea and would be dangerous. v. 2
The age old debate of contacting an alien life has separated the scientific community. Many believe that intelligent races live across the universe and we should send them a signal about our existence, while others have opposite view and feel this will put the human race in jeopardy. In this essay, both aspects of this argument will be looked upon in detail along with my opinion of not making a quick effort to meet the life forms outside our planet. Space researchers positively anticipate the existence lives other than the Earth as the universe is filled with billions of stars and theoretical evidences and calculations prove of hypothesis. However, this can be assured only if we can communicate even with one species out of many. This can bring us the chance to learn and know about other races and maybe we can overcome our dire issues of hunger, poverty, global warming and increasing population. Although, contacting the aliens is not as safe as it sounds, this step can wipe out the whole human race along with other life forms on our planet, and this is what worries other people in scientific community. It cannot be denied that intelligent space race will reject our friendship and other danger is that they make attack us for resources available on Earth, millions of consequences can be guessed. It is will be a great risk to contact outsiders in hope of friendship and then facing unavoidable ramifications. In conclusion, sending a message to smart species living on the other planets can help us solving out serious issues and change the fate of humanity, but this comes with a risk of being encountered by intelligent enemies which can wipe us off from the face of earth. So after looking into both sides of argument, I believe that human race should not contact the intelligent species immediately but with caution.
The age
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
debate of contacting an alien life has separated the scientific community.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intelligent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
races
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
across the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
universe and
we should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
them a signal about our existence, while others have opposite view and feel this will put the human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
race
in jeopardy. In this essay, both aspects of this argument will
be looked
upon in detail along with my opinion of not making a quick effort to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the life forms outside our planet.

Space researchers
positively
anticipate the existence
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
than the Earth as the universe
is filled
with billions of stars and theoretical evidences and calculations prove of hypothesis.
However
, this can
be assured
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
if we can communicate even with one species out of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
. This can bring us the chance to learn and know about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
races
and maybe we can overcome our dire issues of hunger, poverty, global warming and increasing population.

Although, contacting the aliens is not as safe as it sounds, this step can wipe out the whole human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
race
along with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
life forms on our planet, and this is what worries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in scientific community. It cannot
be denied
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intelligent
space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
race
will reject our friendship and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
is that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
attack us for resources available on Earth, millions of consequences can
be guessed
. It is will be a great
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
to contact outsiders in hope of friendship and then facing unavoidable ramifications.

In conclusion
, sending a message to smart species living on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
planets can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us
The verb 'other' is used with an infinitive: "to solve" or "solve".
solving
out serious issues and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the fate of humanity,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
with a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of
being encountered
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intelligent
enemies which can wipe us off from the face of earth.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
after looking into both sides of argument, I believe that human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
race
should not contact the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intelligent
species immediately
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
with caution.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.
Rita Mae Brown

IELTS essay Some scientists think that there are intelligent life forms on other planets and message should be sent out to contact them. Others think that it is a bad idea and would be dangerous. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
314 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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