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One person from history who you admire and why?

One person from history who you admire and why? mW6dN
One person from history who I admire is Mother Teresa. I first came to know about her during my school days where a separate chapter was dedicated to her life. The reason for having her as my role model is her qualities like kindness and respect to humanity. She put others before her and served people who were underprivileged and were from economically weaker sections of the society who did not have access to basic amenities like food, shelter etc. Something which everybody can learn from her life is to love each other because during this pandemic life has not been easy for everyone and it is important for us to take care of each other.
One person from history who I admire is Mother Teresa. I
first
came to know about her during my school
It is better to use 'days' with the time-relative pronoun 'when': "days when". (Alternatively, use 'in/on which')
days where
a separate chapter
was dedicated
to her life. The reason for having her as my role model is her qualities like kindness and respect to humanity. She put others
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
her and served
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
were underprivileged
and were from
economically
weaker sections of the society who did not have access to basic amenities like food, shelter etc. Something which everybody can learn from her life is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
each other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
during this pandemic life has not been easy for everyone and it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for us to take care of each other.
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IELTS essay One person from history who you admire and why?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
116 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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