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some say video games useful other say harmful

some say video games useful other say harmful mXkB1
There are contradicting views on screen games either it has magic impact or detrimental effects. Therefore, one fraction of people believe that video games are advantegeous; whereas, others believe that it has adverse consequences. Both views will be analysed before forming any relevant opinion. To set the wheel of motion, various factors can be seen that why this trend is positive. Since video games has various rules and regulations, individuals become able to understand them and also they implement this rules in real life. Thus, they can not only learn about game but also strategies that based on everyday life. For instance, the game of pubg which is famous among youngsters enable them to use about the different gadgets that they not even seen in a reality. In addition, mind ability is also increased by such kind of games. If people play online puzzles, they will become more intelligent. According to the survey of 2019, the children who played games are more intelligent and they can easily solve any problem as compared to others. Consequently, they learn about various alternative skills namely time management, concentration, think quickly and etcextra. On the other side, there are the numbers and negative effects that people have to face. While playing games children forget their study and many other physical activities. Hence, very rare outdoor activities are performed by youngsters and they may have to face many theoretical diseases such as obesity, back pain, weak eyesight and so on. To cite an effective example here, 88% of individual face the problem of overweight because they become couch potato. So, it is not only put negative effect on the health but also making the balance between the personal life. To wrap up, having dwelled on thought it seems that although it has number of benefits but one cannot turn face from its down side. People should play screen games in limit otherwise it will proven harmful for them.
There are contradicting views on screen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
either it has magic impact or detrimental effects.
Therefore
, one fraction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are
Possible spelling mistake found.
advantegeous
; whereas, others believe that it has adverse consequences. Both views will be
Possible spelling mistake. 'analysed' is British English.
analysed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
forming any relevant opinion.

To set the wheel of motion, various factors can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that why this trend is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
. Since video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
has various
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and regulations, individuals become able to understand them and
also
they implement this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
in real life.
Thus
, they can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
learn about game
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
strategies that based on everyday life.
For instance
, the game of
Possible spelling mistake found.
pubg
which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
among youngsters enable them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
about the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
gadgets that they not even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in a reality.

In addition
, mind ability is
also
increased by such kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
play online puzzles, they will become more intelligent. According to the survey of 2019, the children who played
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are more
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
intelligent and
they can
easily
solve any problem as compared to others.
Consequently
, they learn about various alternative
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
namely
time management, concentration,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
quickly
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
etcextra
.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
side, there are the numbers and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
. While playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
children forget their study and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
physical activities.
Hence
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
rare outdoor activities
are performed
by
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
youngsters and
they may
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
theoretical diseases such as obesity, back pain, weak eyesight and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. To cite an effective example here, 88% of individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
the problem of overweight
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they become couch potato.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
put
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect on the health
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
making the balance between the personal life.

To wrap up, having
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "dwelt", the past tense form of the verb 'dwell'?
dwelled
on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
it seems that although it has number of benefits
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
one cannot turn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
from its
Did you mean "downside"?
down side
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
should play screen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
in limit
otherwise
it will
Did you mean "prove" or "be proven"?
proven
harmful for them.
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IELTS essay some say video games useful other say harmful

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
323 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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