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Some say the purpose of education is to prepare individuals to be useful to society. Others say the purpose of education is to help people achieve personal ambitions. Discuss both views and give your opinions.

Some say the purpose of education is to prepare individuals to be useful to society. Others say the purpose of education is to help people achieve personal ambitions. NrrVm
People have different ideas toward the academic goals and its benefit foresight. Some state, that school educates people to be beneficial for their society, while others believe it will be for individual benefits. First of all, education has extensive influence in enhancing society situation, one of the most effective ways to develop a country position, is to enrich it with educated crews. Universities will discover such people, teaching them and make them ready to be capable enough in crisis management. For instance, in a case if a phenomenon such as earthquake or flood occurs, by having adequate first aid teams or professional doctors, a lot of people life will be saved. So, knowledge can save people life and help them survive. On the other hand, education at the Some time could be a dangerous tool to fulfil an evil desire. If the academy considers a method to approach one's attempt and the only point will be struggling to get high level of study in order to catch better position or promotion, it will threaten a territory. These people are actually using their knowledge as a weapon, in order to attempt others, and pave the way for better finance. Let's make this clear, for example, principle rank in a school is responsible for making a progress to provide better facilities for the students, instead, he or she doesn't care about the quality of the school system and its only concern, is how to gain of its position, as a result, the pupils of this school will not be successful in the future career and the failure in getting a job may happen. The person who has a financial hind sight toward a specific position, will wither, deteriorate the work place or others future. In conclusion, although there is a common belief that the purpose of education is to support individual achieve personal ambitions, I consider science a powerful achievement, for its help and advantage in the life age, for its sacrifice to their country. Educating group is always present to serving the societies.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
toward the academic goals and its benefit foresight.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
state, that school

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
educates
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to be beneficial for their society, while others believe it will be for individual benefits.

First


of all, education has extensive influence in enhancing society situation,

one of the most effective ways to develop a country position, is to enrich it with educated crews. Universities will discover
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
such


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
people
, teaching them and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them ready to be capable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
in crisis management.
For instance
, in a case if a phenomenon
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
such


as earthquake or flood occurs, by having adequate
first


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
aid
teams or professional doctors,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
life will
be saved
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, knowledge can save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
life and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them survive.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, education at the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
time could be a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
tool to fulfil an evil desire. If the academy considers a method to approach one's attempt and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
point will be struggling to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
high level of study in order to catch better
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
position


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
or
promotion, it will threaten a territory. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are actually using their knowledge as a weapon, in order to attempt others, and pave the way for better finance.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
this


This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
,
for example
, principle rank in a school

is responsible for making
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "progress".
a progress
to provide better facilities for the students,
instead
, he or she doesn't care about the quality of the school

system and its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
concern, is how to gain of its position,
as a result
, the pupils of this

school

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
will
not be successful in the future career and the failure in getting a job may happen. The person who has a financial hind sight toward a specific position, will wither, deteriorate the work place or others future.

In conclusion
, although

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
there
is a common belief that the purpose of education is to support individual achieve personal ambitions, I consider science a powerful achievement, for its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
and advantage in the life age, for its sacrifice to their country. Educating group is always present to serving the societies.
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IELTS essay Some say the purpose of education is to prepare individuals to be useful to society. Others say the purpose of education is to help people achieve personal ambitions.

Essay
  American English
18 paragraphs
342 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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