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Improving living conditions within society is a far superior approach to crime prevention that the threat of punishment . To what extend do you agree with this statement and why?

Improving living conditions within society is a far superior approach to crime prevention that the threat of punishment. 566Am
A creation of safe, democratic and crime-free society is assumed to be a major concern for most of the governments. While this is true, approach of achieving crime prevention is a highly argued and discussed topic. It is thought that the conservative way of crime punishing will prevent people from offending the law. However, others disagree, claiming that not the threat of punishment but a number of various social and environmental improvements will reduce the crime level. This essay will support this point by overlooking the reasons of criminality and discussing the effects of improved conditions. It is undeniable that the majority of crime committers are from the unfavorable life conditions and experience a range of various problems. These people are driven by a motive of changing current circumstances when violating the law. Financial difficulties, inability to reach a sufficient medical care, homelessness -are the most common reasons that force people to commit crimes such as theft or pickpocketing for example. A change in the structure of governmental benefits should be done in order to ensure this type of crime is prevented and eliminated. What is more, educating people might be a long-term solution for crime prevention. Developing an idea of respecting others among people, providing them with professional education opportunities might majorly improve the level of crime. What is more, improvements in terms of security service and infrastructure buildings might also facilitate a goal of establishing a safer society. A good example for this would be installing CCTV cameras that might contribute a lot to tracking crime committing intentions or simply improving street lightning system that will make it safer to be outside at night. Additionally, a crime level could be reduced by increasing the influence of law enforcement agencies within the country that are responsible for identifying the aspects of crime and minimalizing the damage. Nevertheless, it is widely agreed that crime punishments are an important part of litigation. Even though the prerequisites for the crime could be caused by a number of life circumstances, violators of the law should be obliged with a proper punishment or a prison sentence. The society could hardly function without any restrictions as in some cases the law is offended intentionally. In conclusion, a crime prevention could mainly be achieved with the number of various improvements in both social and environment fields and is likely a long-term solution for crime reduction. However, it is important to have punishments prescribed by law.
A creation of safe, democratic and crime-free society
is assumed
to be a major concern for most of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
. While this is true, approach of achieving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
prevention is a
highly
argued and discussed topic. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that the conservative way of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
punishing will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from offending the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
law
.
However
, others disagree, claiming that not the threat of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
a number of various social and environmental improvements will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
level. This essay will support this point by overlooking the reasons of criminality and discussing the effects of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
conditions.

It is undeniable that the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
committers are from the unfavorable life conditions and experience a range of various problems. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are driven
by a motive of changing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
circumstances when violating the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
law
. Financial difficulties, inability to reach a sufficient medical care, homelessness -are the most common reasons that force
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to commit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
such as theft or
Possible spelling mistake found.
pickpocketing
for example
. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in the structure of governmental benefits should
be done
in order to ensure this type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevented
and eliminated.
What is more
, educating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be a long-term solution for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
prevention. Developing an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of respecting others among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, providing them with professional education opportunities
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
majorly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
.
What is more
, improvements in terms of security service and infrastructure buildings
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
also
facilitate a goal of establishing a safer society. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example for this would be installing CCTV cameras that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
contribute a lot to tracking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
committing intentions or
simply
improving street lightning system that will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it safer to be outside at night.
Additionally
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
level could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
by increasing the influence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
law
enforcement agencies within the country that are responsible for identifying the aspects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
minimalizing
the damage.

Nevertheless
, it is
widely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
are an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part of litigation.
Even though
the prerequisites for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
could
be caused
by a number of life circumstances, violators of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
law
should
be obliged
with a proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
or a prison sentence. The society could hardly function without any restrictions as in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
law
is offended
intentionally
.

In conclusion
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
prevention could
mainly
be achieved
with the number of various improvements in both social and environment fields and is likely a long-term solution for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
reduction.
However
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
prescribed by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
law
.
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IELTS essay Improving living conditions within society is a far superior approach to crime prevention that the threat of punishment.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
409 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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