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Some say that when a person achieves success in his main job, it means that he/she is selfish and does not care about others. Do you agree or disagree.

Some say that when a person achieves success in his main job, it means that he/she is selfish and does not care about others. wnyEq
All working individuals strive for success in the fields they are working in. It takes a lot of hard-work and commitment to reach a stage where people judge you as a successful person. However, there are many people who think that he/she is self obsessed and does not wish the well being about others around him/her. I personally neither agree nor disagree with this viewpoint and I will try to explain the reasons in the coming paragraphs. One of the main reasons, I think, when a person becomes selfish is because he/she succeeded within a very short duration of time. This has led him/her to think that he/she is above everyone and is better than all of his/her peers. And just because of this confidence turned into overconfidence, he/she will treat the people around him/her as inferiors. Another major reason according to me is that success is passed to him/her as heirloom and he/she had to put zero efforts. In such situations people often take everyone for granted and only care about what will be beneficial for them irrespective of putting others in harm’s way. Their end goal is to achieve as much as possible without thinking about others. However, there is an equal part of my heart which says that not all successful people are selfish. One of the main reasons for this thought is that a successful person is aware of the hardships and struggle he/she had to face. And just because of that past experience, he/she knows value of relationships and will nurture and support people all around him/her to make them pioneers in their respective fields within a minimum period of time. Another reason to my disagreement is that when successful people are ready to listen to constructive feedback. This rare quality will only be a part of people who are ready to help others grow in the same way they have. A little constructive criticism can help in identifying problem areas and improving them for sake of everyone. To conclude, I would say that, it is people’s perspective how they see a prominent personality. It may be a direct or indirect result of how they were treated by that person. Any person will tend to agree with the argument that successful people become selfish for a specific person and may tend to disagree for another person. And hence, I have a neutral stand on this argument.
All working individuals strive for success in the fields they are working in. It takes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
-work and commitment to reach a stage where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
judge you as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
.
However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
he/she
is self obsessed and does not wish the
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well being
about others around him/her. I
personally
neither
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
nor disagree with this viewpoint and I will try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
in the coming paragraphs.

One of the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
, when a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
becomes selfish is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
he/she
succeeded within a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
short duration of time. This has led him/her to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
he/she
is above everyone and is better than all of his/her peers. And
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
because of this
confidence turned into overconfidence,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
he/she
will treat the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around him/her as inferiors. Another major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
according to me is that success
is passed
to him/her as
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
heirloom and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
he/she
had to put zero efforts. In such situations
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
take everyone for granted and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
care about what will be beneficial for them irrespective of putting others in harm’s way. Their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
goal is to achieve as much as possible without thinking about others.

However
, there is an equal part of my heart which says that not all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are selfish. One of the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
for this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
is that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
is aware of the hardships and struggle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
he/she
had to face. And
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of that
Consider using "experience".
past experience
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
he/she
knows value of relationships and will nurture and support
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
all around him/her to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them pioneers in their respective fields within a minimum period of time. Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
to my disagreement is that when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are ready to listen to constructive feedback. This rare quality will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be a part of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are ready to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
others grow
in the same way
they have. A
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
constructive criticism can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in identifying problem areas and improving them for sake of everyone.

To conclude
, I would say that, it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
perspective how they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
a prominent personality. It may be a direct or indirect result of how they
were treated
by that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
. Any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
will tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the argument that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
become selfish for a specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
and may tend to disagree for another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
. And
hence
, I have a neutral stand on this argument.
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IELTS essay Some say that when a person achieves success in his main job, it means that he/she is selfish and does not care about others.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
401 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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  • Meet the criteria
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