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Some people think that women especially housewives often make decision that they have to stay at home and look after their family instead of doing job. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that women especially housewives often make decision that they have to stay at home and look after their family instead of doing job. Blrp9
In the contemporary era, there is heated argument over the issue that women especially housewives often make decision that they have to stay at home and look after their family instead of doing job. One segament of the society favours it, however, others averse it. In the following paragraphs, I would shed the light on its various aspects. I see eye to eye with the central idea of numerous reasons. First and foremost, which women are widowed and divorced, they can not compromise with their home duties, they can not go to jobs and earn money. However, mothers have to spend time with their children as well as they have to take care of elderly people at home. Moreover, some ladies are physically challenged and they can not do jobs. That is why they need funds to nurture them and children also. At the flip side of the coin, there are some critics, who are against the avobe stated statement. Firstly, Government have more often responsibilities basic nesds like food and accommodation, terrorism and natural calamities etcera. These all conditions are over burden on government budget. Therefore, women should manage by themselves and family. They should work from home or part time job. In conclusion, i personally feel that women are backbone of their family to managed in proper way at their home. So, it is required that spend their more time with family whereas to some extent government.
In the contemporary era, there
is heated
argument over the issue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
especially
housewives
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
decision that they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
stay at home and look after their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
instead
of doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. One
Possible spelling mistake found.
segament
of the society
Possible spelling mistake. 'favours' is British English.
favours
it,
however
, others averse it. In the following paragraphs, I would shed the light on its various aspects. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
eye to eye with the central
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of numerous reasons.
First
and foremost, which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are widowed
and divorced, they can not compromise with their home duties, they can not go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
and earn money.
However
, mothers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
spend time with their children
as well
as they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
take care of elderly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
at home.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
ladies are
physically
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
challenged and
they can not do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
.
That is
why they need funds to nurture them and children
also
. At the flip side of the coin, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
critics, who are against the
Possible spelling mistake found.
avobe
stated statement.
Firstly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
have more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
responsibilities basic
Possible spelling mistake found.
nesds
like food and accommodation, terrorism and natural calamities
Possible spelling mistake found.
etcera
. These all conditions are over burden on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
budget.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
should manage by themselves and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. They should work from home or
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
part time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
In conclusion
,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
personally
feel that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are backbone of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
to managed in proper way at their home.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it
is required
that spend their more time with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
whereas to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.
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IELTS essay Some people think that women especially housewives often make decision that they have to stay at home and look after their family instead of doing job.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
239 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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