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Some say that parents whose children are breaking the law must be punished in some way. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is argued that parents should be punished whose children break laws. I agree with this statement because children will not do this same mistake, and then scaring from parents outrage, children will ceased breaking any law. Nowadays, children often decry laws because they feel it is so common, even though children are conversant with the fact that penalties of any crimes could be perilous. Once they realised that parents are receiving all charges and are punished due to children careless behaviour. Children feel ashamed, discontent over their behaviour and would not break any law. As a result, children stop breaking any law. For instance, one study found that children are the most captivated to their parents. Furthermore, parents scold children and penalized them. Once parents realize that due to children careless behaviour, they are being punished. Consequently, they often scold children until they realised and stop making mistakes. whereas, children would be scare of parents outrage. For instance, in some countries children are more scared of parents then any things as. Parents often make all the decisions until they are become mature. In conclusion, children feel ashamed and skip from parents outrage, children would not break any law. For these reasons I totally agree that parents should be penalized for children breaking rules.
It
is argued
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should
be punished
whose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
break
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laws
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will not do this same mistake, and then scaring from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
outrage,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will ceased breaking any law.

Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
decry
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laws
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they feel it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
common,
even though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are conversant with the fact that penalties of any crimes could be perilous. Once they
Possible spelling mistake. ‘realised’ is British English.
realised
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are receiving all charges and
are punished
due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
careless
Possible spelling mistake. ‘behaviour’ is British English.
behaviour
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
feel ashamed, discontent over their
Possible spelling mistake. ‘behaviour’ is British English.
behaviour
and would not break any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
law
.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
breaking any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
law
.
For instance
, one study found that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are the most captivated to their parents.

Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
scold
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and penalized them. Once
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
Do not mix variants of the same word (‘realize’ and ‘realise’) within a single text.
realize
that due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
careless
Possible spelling mistake. ‘behaviour’ is British English.
behaviour
, they are
being punished
.
Consequently
, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
scold
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
until they
Possible spelling mistake. ‘realised’ is British English.
realised
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
making mistakes.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
whereas
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
would be
The past participle is required after “would be”.
scare
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
outrage.
For instance
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are more scared of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
Did you mean “than”?
then
any things as.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
all the decisions until they
are become
mature.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
feel ashamed and skip from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
outrage,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
would not break any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
law
. For these reasons I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should
be penalized
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
breaking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
.
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IELTS essay Some say that parents whose children are breaking the law must be punished in some way.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
214 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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