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Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives

We are living in the world where advertisements have a great impact on our purchase and usability. Yes, advertising motivate us to purchase new products that we hardly need but we cannot neglect that advertisements introduce us about the new products that enhance our lives. I will discuss both the views while supporting the latter one. To embark on, advertisements have really influenced the life of the people with the better outcomes. Without an advertisements, we dont really get to know number of products or the better versions launched in the market and we keep on using the less admirable products. To exemplify, i would love to state about the smartphones. Each and everyday we get to see the new version of the phones that meet the requirements of million of people out there. We no more have to go to shops and make our choice. these advertisements help us to make our make our mind and purchase the best. Beside this, i somewhat agree with the statement that advertising encourage us to to purchase unnecessary products. There is no denying in the fact that in this virtual and advanced world videos are presented in such a way that you will be highly convinced and believe it to be true. For an instance last year i have purchased the faireness cream and was really disappointed with the result. These kind of ads are not only demotivating moreover they are betraying the customers. To conclude, i would say that like any other thing advertisements have good and bad effect. But i strongly agree with the statement that advertisements have changed our lives for better.
We are living in the world where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
have a great impact on our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purchase
and usability. Yes, advertising motivate us to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purchase
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
that we hardly need
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we cannot neglect that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
introduce us about the new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
that enhance our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. I will discuss both the views while supporting the latter one.

To embark on,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
have
really
influenced the life of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with the better outcomes. Without an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
, we
Possible spelling mistake found
dont
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to know
It seems that an article is missing. Did you mean “the number of” or “a number of”?
number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
or the better versions launched in the
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
market and
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
on using the less admirable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. To exemplify,
Did you mean “I”?
i
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to state about the smartphones. Each and everyday we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the new version of the phones that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the requirements of million of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
out there. We no more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
go to shops and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
our choice.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
our mind and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purchase
the best.

Did you mean “besides” (= apart from that) which is commonly used to start a sentence?
Beside
this,
Is this the personal pronoun “I”? It is spelled uppercase.
i
somewhat
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement that advertising encourage us
Possible typo: you repeated a word
to to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purchase
unnecessary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. There is no denying in the fact that in this virtual and advanced world videos
are presented
in such a way that you will be
highly
convinced and believe it to be true. For an instance last year
Is this the personal pronoun “I”? It is spelled uppercase.
i
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
faireness
cream and was
really
disappointed with the result.
‘These’ does not seem to match the singular noun ‘kind’. Did you mean “this kind” or “These kinds”?
These kind
of ads are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
demotivating
moreover
they are betraying the customers.

To conclude
,
Did you mean “I”?
i
would say that like any other thing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
effect.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
Is this the personal pronoun “I”? It is spelled uppercase.
i
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
for better.
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IELTS essay Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
273 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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