Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some say older people should live with their older children, while others think they should live in homes built specifically for the elderly. Which exercise do you think is better?

Some say older people should live with their older children, while others think they should live in homes built specifically for the elderly. Which exercise do you think is better? Lq7Rp
It is noteworthy that there is a general consensus that older people should live in separate communities, such as nursing homes. However, some people have no choice but to take care of their elderly parents, I admit, they think they should live with their family for the following reasons. To begin with, the most sensible basis is that the elderly are full of life experiences. That is, if minors use their experiences and apply their advice, they will learn how to cope with life’s challenges. A good example is that it teaches parents how to cope and manage their children’s financial problems with tension and stress and lays the foundation for making wise and right decisions in the future. Simply put, older people can tell adults what they are going through and bring them back from their mistakes, which is a big help in improving them. Another argument is that people become more sensitive as they get older and require more attention in childhood. In other words, as you get older, you will need to meet and especially be with their family and interact with them. Some large-scale studies show that older people are at higher risk for psychological trauma such as extreme sadness, depression, and anxiety. Elderly people living in nursing homes are a good example. Most of them feel lonely and wait months or years to see their children for a second. Furthermore, old age is a part of our lives and no one can stop this natural truth. If we leave our elderly parents in communities, our children will do it with us, our people say. In conclusion, based on the ideas discussed above, the most correct conclusion is that older people should be with their families, because the main duty of any child is to take care of his parents to do, if in the future we will be treated in the same way, we will be treated in the same way. My last conclusion is that we need to take care of keklasas.
It is noteworthy that there is a
Consider using "consensus".
general consensus
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in separate communities, such as nursing homes.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have no choice
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
to take care of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, I admit, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
they should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with their family for the following reasons. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the most sensible basis is that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
are full of life experiences.
That is
, if minors
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their experiences and apply their advice, they will learn how to cope with life’s challenges. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example is that it teaches
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
how to cope and manage their children’s financial problems with tension and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and lays the foundation for making wise and right decisions in the future.
Simply
put,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
adults what they are going through and bring them back from their mistakes, which is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in improving them. Another argument is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
become more sensitive as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
and require more attention in childhood.
In other words
, as you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
, you will need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
and
especially
be with their family and interact with them.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
large-scale studies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are at higher
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
for psychological trauma such as extreme sadness, depression, and anxiety.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living in nursing homes are a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example. Most of them feel lonely and wait months or years to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
their children for a second.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
age is a part of our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and no one can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
this natural truth. If we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
in communities, our children will do it with us, our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
say.
In conclusion
, based on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
discussed above, the most correct conclusion is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should be with their families,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the main duty of any child is to take care of his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to do, if in the future we will
be treated
in the same way
, we will
be treated
in the same way
. My last conclusion is that we need to take care of
Possible spelling mistake found.
keklasas
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Some say older people should live with their older children, while others think they should live in homes built specifically for the elderly. Which exercise do you think is better?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
338 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • Some say older people should live with their older children, while others think they should live in homes built specifically for the elderly. Which exercise do you think is better?